


Verbatim

by eridol



Category: Naruto
Genre: Cross-Posted on Wattpad, F/F, F/M, Fanfiction, Lime, M/M, Multi, POV Alternating, POV Third Person Limited, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:22:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 34,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23730772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eridol/pseuds/eridol
Summary: Kakashi Hatake has a problem.Thankfully, Iruka Umino is willing to solve it.Or, in which Iruka Umino takes it upon himself to anonymously write erotica novels for his crush because the older man is out of reading material.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, Mitarashi Anko/Shizune
Comments: 14
Kudos: 160
Collections: KakaIru





	1. One

Iruka Umino sighed, not especially shocked by the fact that Kakashi and Guy were blatantly unaware of his presence as they sat at Ichiraku Ramen.

Iruka had shown up about fifteen minutes before the best friends had, sitting at one of the stools on the end and ordering a bowl as he mulled over some papers from his students, silently wishing that Naruto was there with him. The excitable blonde was busy, having left a few weeks prior to go travel and train with no other than one of the legendary Sannin, Jiraiya.

When Kakashi Hatake and Might Guy had shown up, they'd sat on the opposite end that Iruka had, seemingly too enthralled with whatever conversation they were having to notice Iruka there. While Iruka was just now finishing his bowl of ramen and packing up his papers to put into the bag he carried with him every day, the two Jonin were still waiting on their food to be ready. Teuchi and Ayame were busy making the bowls of noodles, having a talk of their own that Iruka wasn't really listening to.

"No book today, Kakashi?" Guy questioned, and Iruka briefly glanced over at Kakashi. Usually, the silver-haired man would have some brightly colored copy of one of the books in the Icha Icha series peeking out of one of his back pockets, but as Guy had pointed out, there was nothing there.

Iruka furrowed his eyebrows, tuning in to hear what Kakashi's response would be as he pulled out some cash to pay his tab, shooting Ayame a quick smile.

"Ah, I'm afraid not," Kakashi huffed, resting his elbows on the table. "I'm out of reading material right now. Jiraiya's so busy training Naruto that he hasn't been able to publish much as of late, and I've already read and reread everything in that shop that's worth reading a million times over; Icha Icha Paradise, Violence, and even some series that Jiraiya didn't write."

"Wow, that's rare!" Guy's eyebrows shot up, his jaw dropping. "From my understanding, you're rather picky about your reading material!"

"I am..." Kakashi admitted, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand before running his fingers through his hair. "I've been scouring the bookshop I go to every day for new material, but so far, there's been nothing. Hopefully, some new authors come onto the scene or I'll be lost until Jiraiya gets back."

Suddenly, Iruka's mind began to race. Though he hadn't been the best student in school, he'd always been a talented author, even making a couple of books for his kids or using writing in his lessons. Realistically, he was aware of the fact that his school papers and kids' books were completely different from Kakashi's erotic material, but he figured he could manage to do something decent...

At this point, you readers might be wondering; why would an academy teacher write an erotica novel just to help a man who was complaining about being out of reading material due to Jiraiya's absence? Well, the short answer was rather simple; Iruka Umino had a crush. The long answer was a little more complicated; Iruka Umino had a crush on someone he felt was out of his league and didn't know how to express his emotions properly, so he chose to indirectly express his love through the form of favors and services because he knew that Kakashi Hatake was too emotionally oblivious to pick up on it being a romantic thing.

"I wish you the best of luck in your, er, book finding endeavors!" Might said, sounding a little awkward and looking genuinely relieved when both his and Kakashi's bowls were set on the wooden counter in front of them with chopsticks for each. "But for now, it seems like our food is ready! Wanna make a contest of it, my eternal rival?"

"You're on."

The two men started downing their ramen ridiculously fast, and Iruka took his opportunity to exit unnoticed, giving Ayame and Teuchi a wave before standing up and briskly walking away from Ichiraku.

He was about to head home to work like he usually would when he remembered something.

He needed a notebook.

~

When he got home that night, he disregarded all of the papers from his academy students that he knew he should've been grading, as well as the food in the fridge that he knew he should've been making for dinner, on top of all of the laundry that had been sitting in his hamper for the past two weeks, and probably a million other things, too.

He didn't care, honestly. He'd regret it in the morning, sure, but right now? He wanted to write.

So, he took the little notebook out of the cheap plastic bag it'd come in and set it down on the wooden desk he had in his living room, grabbing a pen from his vest as he took off the green garment and hung it on his roller chair. Finally, he let his hair down from its usual ponytail, kicked his shoes off, and sat down at his desk to write.

Iruka wasn't the most experienced in this area- Kakashi was probably a lot more experienced, but Iruka had read enough romance novels and dreamed up enough crazy fantasies of him and his crush to pull something off.

Figuring that he'd start with something simple while he still had the motivation, he let go of all his inhibitions and opened the notebook to the first page so he could start writing. Slowly, his neat yet loopy handwriting began to take up the once clean lines on the paper.

'Desire clouded any of the logical thoughts that could've possibly crossed his mind, the feeling mindnumbing yet somehow able to increase all of his senses tenfold. Every brush of skin against his, every noise that fell from in between his lover's pink lips, every little thing had him growing more and more desperate regardless of how little the taller man had actually touched him. Thin, nimble fingers gripped the younger man's brown tresses, pulling on them as hard as possible to convey what he couldn't with his words.'

"God, this is embarrassingly terrible..." Sunkissed hands slowly rose to cover the brunette's eyes and cheeks, both to hide his blush despite no one else being there to see it and to keep him from looking at what he'd just written. "There's no way he'd read this and take it seriously!" Iruka exclaimed, feeling his face burn red as he shook his head. The idea for his story wasn't necessarily bad, but he wasn't used to writing adult fiction- no, he was used to writing reports for work and the occasional children's book to keep his younger kids entertained, maybe even a poem or a diary entry when he was feeling particularly emotional, but porn? This wasn't his forte. Still, though, he wanted to go through with it. Surely if he tried hard enough, he could make it good enough for Kakashi to want to read.

Shaking his head, he decided that he'd at least title the series. That would be a good start, right?

He stood up, grabbing his pen and staring at the notebook that rested on his kitchen table before making a decision and writing it down on the front cover.

Verbatim: Book One


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iruka Umino runs into his crush, Kakashi Hatake. Later that day, he tells his best friend, Anko Mitarashi, about his recent adventures in writing erotica. Embarrassment ensues.

A couple of months later and Iruka Umino was sitting on the swing outside of the Ninja Academy, chewing on the end of his pen as he wrote. His new novel, Verbatim, was going rather well. After doing some research, he'd gotten the hang of writing romance and erotica, as well as basic character designs finished for his two main protagonists; Kujira and Shirogane.

It had been a busy day; he'd woken up late that morning, almost left the drafting notebook for Verbatim behind, rushed to school, dealt with a particularly chaotic day with his students, and spent the rest of his spare time writing away.

Of course, he hadn't been expecting anyone to be near the academy aside from a few lingering teachers, but to his surprise, he saw two pale hands grip the ropes there were keeping the wooden swing tied to the sturdy tree that held it up. Dropping his pen and slamming his notebook shut with a resonating snap, the brunette turned around to see no other than his crush, Kakashi Hatake.

His mouth went dry.

Calling Kakashi Hatake his 'crush' at this point felt childish and rather ridiculous in general, but Iruka knew that phrasing it like that in his mind instead of 'the man I'm in love with' made it seem a little less serious than it really was.

Calling Kakashi Hatake a mere 'crush' made it easier to cope with the fact that the older man would probably never love him back. It was just a crush, he would get over it eventually.

'Yeah, that's what I've been telling myself for the past eight years,' he thought.

"Gah, you scared me!" Iruka shouted, nearly falling off of the swing in a dramatic gesture in hopes that Kakashi wouldn't notice how he'd tuned out for a few seconds too long.

"What were you working on there, Iruka?" Kakashi asked, leaning in over Iruka's back and trying to look over his shoulder so he could get a look at the younger man's notebook. "Grading papers?"

"Haha, yeah, totally..." Iruka trailed off, standing up and turning to face Kakashi as he clutched his notebook to his chest and looked down at the ground. "Did you need something, Kakashi?"

"Oh, no," Kakashi answered, leaning down and picking up Iruka's dropped pen to hand to the brunette. When Iruka took the writing utensil back, he felt their fingers brush, which made him blink before Kakashi started talking again. "I just saw you here and thought I'd come to say hello, but I've gotta go do my thing and get lost on whatever path life takes me on."

"Right..." Iruka mumbled, chuckling as he remembered the many times that Kakashi had been late to something and used that excuse- all the times he'd been yelled at by the Hokage or complained to by the teammates he was put on missions with, and all the times that Iruka could only smile and watch as the man he was in love with got chewed out for one of his old habits. "Well, you have fun with that, and if you see another black cat on the way that you're afraid to cross," He started, knowing that another one of Kakashi's excuses was that he supposedly walked past a black cat and had to change direction to avoid encountering bad luck. "Remember that in the south of France, respecting them brings good fortune, so go ahead and pet it for me."

"So the good fortune will spread to you secondhand?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms and letting out a small chuckle as well.

"I suppose so. I'll see you later, Kakashi."

"See ya." Hatake waved, and with that, he was walking away.

Umino could only sigh as he mentally prepared himself for his next stop; the residence of no other than his best friend, Anko Mitarashi.

The walk to her small home in the residential area a few streets away from the Hokage's office was a short one, so after making it out of the yard of his school, crossing the huge main building it was connected to, and walking through one of the smaller civilian living sectors in the village, he made it there, not even bothering to knock on her door since it was already open.

"Anko!" He called out, walking into the older woman's kitchen to find her leaning against the counter, eating off of a stick of Dango.

While some of their friends thought that they were a rather odd pair, Iruka had always liked Anko. She was a couple of years older than him, and though she was rather bold and obnoxious, she had a more caring, compassionate side to her that he was (platonically) attracted to. Often times, she reminded him of an older, more mature (and also scarier) version of Naruto.

They'd met after she'd returned from her traumatizing experience with Orochimaru, which was also shortly after Iruka had lost his parents. They had more in common back then, sure, but their friendship had only grown stronger considering how they'd almost immediately bonded upon first meeting and all of the time they'd spent together.

Essentially, his apartment was hers and her house was his, so them barging in on each other wasn't abnormal. Though Iruka preferred people to show up announced and actually use manners and usually did the same in return, he figured that Anko Mitarashi would always be an exception to that.

"Huh?" The purple-haired woman finished her snack, tossing the stick in her trashcan before looking up at him. As expected, she was completely unsurprised by his presence.

"I need a beta reader for this book I've been writing," Iruka explained, holding his notebook up. He'd managed to get some good drafts done, but the only person he trusted to read it and not go and tell everyone was- ironically- his second loudest and most talkative friend, who was only topped in both of those categories by Might Guy...

Not that Iruka would ever willingly show Might the erotica novel he'd started writing anyway, but still.

"Do I look like someone who reads?" Anko questioned, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow as she stared at the notebook with a rather quizzical expression.

"What if I told you it was erotica?"

With that, Mitarashi's jaw dropped.

Crickets.

A few more seconds passed.

Iruka thought that he could hear his own heart beating in his chest as blood rushed to his face for the sole purpose of showing his embarrassment.

And finally, three, two, one...

"What!?" The Jonin yelled, walking up to Iruka and practically snatching the notebook from his grasp to flip through it.

"You heard me," Iruka groaned, burying his face in his hands and peeking in between his fingers to see the older woman staring at him with what might've been the most obnoxious grin he'd ever seen. "This is embarrassing enough, so please don't make me say it twice."

"Oh my God, my best friend, the innocent dolphin boy, is writing fucking porn!"

"Yes, I know," Iruka grumbled, second-guessing whether or not telling her about this was a good decision as he dropped his hands from where they were on his face and crossed his arms.

"I'm shook. The penname Risso is after those super rare grey dolphins, right?" Unsurprisingly, the subject of his penname came up. He'd chosen 'Risso' after Risso's Dolphins. Since his name 'Iruka' translated to 'dolphin', he figured that if he wanted to publish anonymously, he could use something that somewhat correlated with his actual name without being too obvious instead of something completely random. "That's not all that mysterious- anyone with a brain who lives in the Leaf Village will know that it's you the second they see it."

"I doubt anyone else will pick up on it. You only knew because you- well, you know me better than everyone else. Just don't tell anyone, okay?"

"You know I can keep a secret!" Anko reassured him, and though he felt somewhat uneasy about this, he nodded.

"Right..."

"It's not bad so far!" Anko smiled, moving to sit down at one of the barstools that was next to her kitchen counter as she 'ooh'ed and 'ah'ed at his work, slowly reading the pages of his notebook. "I can probably read the rest in the next day or two, but, uh... Why?"

"Huh?" Iruka tilted his head, confused as to what she meant for a moment.

"I mean why is the most innocent, inexperienced, vanilla person I know writing kinky porn all of a sudden? Not that I'm complaining if it's all this good, but what's the deal?"

"It's embarrassing... But basically, Kakashi-"

"Oh! I knew this character sounded familiar!" She laughed, pointing to the page with the character draft of one of his two main characters; Shirogane. White hair, tall, and muscular, he hadn't necessarily been trying to write a Kakashi insert into his book, but thinking back on it... Well, he'd written Kakashi but with a few changed features and a different name. "Of course this has something to do with friend-killer Kaka-"

"Don't call him that," Iruka mumbled, already knowing Anko's opinion of Kakashi by now. She didn't hate him, but due to his past, she was suspicious of him, and she seemed neutral about Iruka's crush on him. "Anyways, the character wasn't based on him- at least not on purpose... I heard him and Guy talking last month, and Kakashi was complaining about how he didn't have any good books to read because of the hiatus Jiraiya took to train Naruto. So, I may or may not have decided to revamp my entire schedule just to write an erotica novel so he'd have something to read."

"You're kidding, right?" Anko laughed, shaking her head and closing the notebook before setting it down on her countertop.

"What? No, he seemed genuinely upset about it! When people are passionate about their hobbies-"

"Yeah, whatever," Anko rolled her eyes and gave him a dismissive wave of her hand. "I guess we're both just gonna act like you didn't hop on the first chance you had to impress this guy. Is he even gay?" He knew she was referring to the fact that the two main characters who were interested in each other were both men, and he sighed, awkwardly looking off to the side.

Though Kakashi mainly read Icha Icha, which was primarily about straight sex, Iruka had seen the older man walking around with the occasional gay or lesbian romance novel, so he had some hope. If anything, he'd assumed that Kakashi was bi based on the fact that he'd been at the local bar during a few of the rare times Kakashi picked someone up for the night- sometimes the Jonin would leave with women, and other times, the Jonin would leave with men.

"Hey, I have a penname, remember? I'm keeping my identity a secret! It's not to impress him, just... It's just to make him a little happier. Also, I think he's bi, but it doesn't matter that much- I'm not even gonna try to make any sort of actual move on him or anything."

"So you're going to self-publish and have it sold anonymously in hopes that he picks it up when you don't even plan on using this as an opportunity to hit on him like you've been wanting to for what, ten years?" Anko asked, her light brown eyes darting to the ceiling for a brief moment.

"More like eight years, and I know what book shop he goes to, so if I can just get it sold there, then it won't be an issue," Iruka shrugged even though he honestly knew that the idea was ridiculous.

"Fair point. Well, I'll read this and correct any mistakes I see for ya! I'll let you know when I can give it back."

"Alright, thanks, Anko! I've gotta head home and grade papers," Umino explained, giving his best friend a wave and a smile. "Talk to you later."

"Talk to you later."


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi Hatake has been out of reading material for so long that he's lost track, and he thinks he might go insane of he has to re-read another one of Master Jiraiya's novels for the millionth time. Luckily, while he and Asuma Sarutobi are at the local bookstore, a new series managed to catch his eye.

Kakashi Hatake pushed his hands into his pockets as he walked out of the flower shop with his friend, Asuma Sarutobi, by his side. The two had formed a routine after Naruto and Sasuke had left. Once or twice a week, the black-haired man would invite him to tag along to the Yamanaka's floral business, and then they'd go to the local bookstore together. While Kakashi wasn't especially fond of the sudden change of his routine when Asuma had first started it, he'd easily come to the conclusion that the other Jonin did it because he thought that Kakashi was lonely without his students or a family. Kakashi felt like he didn't need that attention, but if Asuma felt like he was doing a good thing for him, and if Asuma got some sort of weird altruism-related closure from it, Kakashi supposed he'd go along with it.

Asuma wasn't unpleasant to be around. He was a nice person, and Kakashi had grown a bit attached to him.

But, as they walked, it wasn't Asuma that was on his mind despite the black-haired man being the one who was actually standing next to him.

No, rather than Asuma Sarutobi clouding his thoughts, it was the man that he'd been in love with for so many years that he'd lost count; Iruka Umino.

Long story short, Iruka had been weird. Almost every time Kakashi had approached him as of late, the brunette had basically avoided talking to him, seeming incredibly nervous and awkward through all of their interactions before inevitably excusing himself.

"Iruka's been acting rather peculiar lately, no?" Kakashi questioned, looking towards Asuma, who he hoped would know what the hell was going on with Iruka since the two were decent friends. Logically, Kakashi knew that Anko Mitarashi was the brunette's best friend out of all of their mutuals, but he didn't dare approach her with questions- she was unpredictable and couldn't keep a secret to save her life unless she considered it important, and he knew that his unrequited crush issue with Iruka was not, in fact, something she would consider important.

"Has he?" Asuma opened the door to the bookstore when they got there, holding it for Kakashi as he continued. "I'm surprised you noticed. Since when are you friends with Iruka?"

"I'm really not," He admitted, wishing that he was. "We do get along, though, and I see him a lot. Every time I've ran into him over the past month or two, he's been a lot more..." They both walked into the shop, and Kakashi trailed off, trying to find the correct word to describe Iruka's recent behavior. "Jumpy."

"Ah, you're actually right now that I'm thinking about it," Asuma glanced up at the ceiling, raising one hand to hold his chin in thought, the other hand holding the bouquet of roses that he'd bought from Ino's family just moments before as they began to walk through the rows of books. "I know you don't ever bother to come along, but you know how the rest of us usually hang out at the bar that Kurenai likes because it's apparently the only one that can make her citronella coolers right?" For a moment, Kakashi lingered on the slight jealousy that he'd always held over Asuma and Kurenai's relationship. They'd had and maintained romantic feelings for each other and blended together perfectly for as long as he could remember- Asuma knew Kurenai's favorite drinks and flowers, and she knew his favorite season and the brand of cigarettes he smoked. They were perfect for each other in a simple yet complex way, and Kakashi found that he'd always wanted that- especially with Iruka, not that such a fantasy would ever come true. "Every once in a blue moon, Iruka will tag along, and he did just that last week. He seemed fine at first, but when Guy asked what he'd been up to recently, the guy kinda just sank into the booth and avoided the question."

"Is that so?" Kakashi mumbled as they reached the section he usually got his content from, titled 'ROMANCE & ADULT FICTION R18'. Asuma's statement had been consistent with the way Iruka had been acting, so he didn't think anything of it until the ravenette proceeded with something that had him slightly concerned.

"And get this, Kurenai asked where you were and poor Iruka looked like he was about to fall off the face of the planet or go find a hole to go die in," Kakashi felt his heart drop at that, but he tried to act like everything was fine, trailing his nimble fingers along the backs of the books that occupied the shelf he was currently standing at, though he wasn't really paying attention to what they were. No, his eyes were flickering between the tacky and old-fashioned multicolor carpet and the equally as tacky blue walls and ceiling, his mind trying to come up with some logical conclusion to everything Asuma was saying. "Then again, he's always been kinda fidgety when your name's mentioned. Do you know why that is?"

"No idea, but a lot of people are intimidated by me and he is a Chunin-" Yeah, intimidation, he reasoned... There was no other reason that could explain that kind of behavior aside from Iruka flat out disliking him, and he didn't want to consider that possibility. Plus, a lot of people were scared of him, and he was used to that. He was the Copycat Ninja Kakashi, the Scarecrow Kakashi, the Cold-Blooded Kakashi, the Friend-Killer Kakashi. Iruka being scared of him was something he could cope with, even if he couldn't fix it, which he assumed he probably could. "Albeit a very strong one who should probably be a Jonin by now- so I guess it's understandable if his perception of me is inaccurate. After all, you know how he is about respecting the system and ranks and all of that, so..."

"Fair point, but he's not uptight," Asuma, of course, made a great point. "He's respectful, sure, but he's friends with me, Kurenai, Guy- In fact, Anko's his best friend."

"That's true... Well, I'm not the warmest person. I don't expect him to like me, or..." For a moment, he considered the possibility of Iruka being awkward because he had a crush on Kakashi before brushing it off. No- Iruka was too good for him, there was no way. Still, he wanted to act unbothered about the matter in front of Asuma. "Maybe he does like me and there's some sort of misunderstanding. Iruka's an honest person, and I feel like he'd bring it up if he really disliked me."

"That's true, too. At the very least, he's an earnest man." Right as Asuma finished that sentence, Kakashi finally spotted a book that caught his eye, with a silvery cover and a spine that read Verbatim, the author going by the name of Risso, which was written just below the title. Kakashi assumed that it must've been a pen name, and though something about it rung familiar, he decided to shake it off for the time being. With how regularly Kakashi shopped for new books to read, he had memorized just about every section in the store, but this was a book that he hadn't seen before and a pen name that he didn't recognize. "Oh? What've you got your eye on?" Asuma asked, tilting his head.

"Verbatim, huh...?" Kakashi gently grabbed the book so he could look at the front cover, delighted to find that it was rather aesthetically pleasing. Still, though, he was confused about the pen name- this store in particular mostly sold books that were written by people within their village; books by authors who were civilian family members of the ninja that resided there for work, Teuchi and Ayame's cookbooks, ninja handbooks and textbooks, Jiraiya's Icha Icha series, a ton of action comics that revolved around life as a ninja in the Leaf Village, and so on. "I wonder what that could be. Must be new." 

"Oh, you have been looking for new books, Kakashi," Asuma, who'd heard plenty of complaints from the silver-haired man about his recent lack of reading material, smiled. "It must be your lucky day."

"Exactly what I've been waiting for." Kakashi took the book and walked up to the front counter, Asuma following behind. When he reached the register, he sat the book down in front of the young cashier, looking up at her curiously. "Excuse me, do you know who wrote this? I'm assuming it's someone in the village since it's being sold here. I've never heard of it, though."

"Oh! It's quite a mysterious case, actually- They just got in this morning, and my manager said they were sent anonymously, so I don't really know who the author is... I'm sorry about that. Would you like to buy it, though?"

"You know what?" Kakashi looked at Asuma, and then back down at Verbatim, nodding. "Why not?" He pulled a small amount of cash out of his vest to pay for the book before picking it up again. "Thank you."

With that, the silver-haired man flipped the book open to the front page and walked out of the shop with Asuma by his side. However, he was completely unaware of the brunette who had just happened to be passing by and nearly screamed at the sight of Kakashi Hatake reading his book.


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi Hatake is in love with both Iruka Umino and the book Verbatim. Unfortunately, he's completely oblivious to the identity of the book's author- not that the fact will stop him from gushing about it to his friends at the local bar, blatantly unaware that Verbatim's author is within earshot.

Kakashi Hatake smiled underneath his mask as he looked down at his new favorite book, Verbatim. He was at the local bar with some of his friends; Guy, Genma, Kurenai, and Asuma who sat to his right in the booth, and Iruka, who sat to his left. If he was being honest, he was feeling well for the most part, but feeling Iruka's shoulder brush against his every time the brunette reached for the silver fizz that sat on the bar table in front of him had him somewhat nervous. That on top of Kakashi's long-sleeved shirt, heavy pants, mask, headband, and thick vest had him feeling hot, but he didn't complain, only listening to the conversation of all of his friends.

"Kakashi," Kurenai spoke, causing him to look up from the copy of Verbatim that he had sat in his lap. "It's pretty rare for you to come along with us. What's the occasion?"

"What can I say?" Kakashi's smile grew, and he glanced at Kurenai momentarily before allowing his eye to drift to Iruka. Call it a force of habit- almost any time Iruka was around, he couldn't help but stare. Iruka's dark brown eyes met the one of Kakashi's that wasn't covered by his headband for just a second before Iruka blinked and averted his gaze, cheeks burning red. Kakashi turned back to Kurenai. "I'm in a good mood."

"Oh, did you meet someone?" Genma questioned, a small smirk taking over his lips as he tapped his fingers on the tabletop. 

"No, I finally found another good book," Kakashi started, closing Verbatim before holding it up for the people at his tablet to see. "I'm rather excited about it, actually. I bought it two days ago and I've already finished it and reread it three times, but apparently, it's a multipart series, so the author should be publishing the second book sometime soon."

"Who's the author?" Kurenai tilted her head, curious stare trained on the book.

"That's the thing..." Kakashi started with a sigh, setting the book down on the table. "I have no idea who it is. They go by Risso, and it seems like this is their first book."

"Wait, you bought it from the usual place and you don't know who it is? That's rather unusual!" Guy exclaimed, placing a finger on his chin as he stared up at the ceiling in thought.

"I don't know who they are, but they're an absolute genius..." Kakashi mumbled, staring down at the book. It might've been the best he'd ever read if he was being honest...  
Maybe it was because, in some weird way, the two main characters reminded him of Iruka and himself and subserviently catered to all of his deepest, darkest fantasies if he changed a couple of names and physical features in his mind when he was following along.

"Oh? Is this a new Icha Icha, my eternal rival?"  
"It might actually be better."

"Oh my God," Iruka murmured, burying his face into his hands and sinking into the booth, which caused everyone to stare in his direction.

"Is something wrong, Iruka?" Kakashi tilted his head and raised an eyebrow.

"No, no, just..." Iruka moved his hands from his face and rested them in his lap, staring down at his drink to avoid making eye contact with anyone. "Nothing, don't worry about it," With that, Iruka smiled, probably trying to seem as if he hadn't just acted totally weird. "Anyways, what's the book about?"

"It's about this Chunin named Kujira who's in love with another ninja named Shirogane. They have a complex relationship that mostly consists of them having been in love with each other for a few years but skirting around it because they're afraid of their own feelings. They end up having a friends with benefits relationship, and it seems pretty clear that Shirogane is interested in Kujira romantically, but it's like Kujira doesn't want to believe it because he's afraid of taking risks" It was an ideal scenario, almost. Not that he would ever admit it, but the thought of him being in place of Shirogane and Iruka being in place of Kujira, and him confessing his love to the younger man and actually having it requited had him on cloud nine. "It seems like Kujira doesn't really believe it at first when Shirogane starts dropping hints- Shirogane's written as this mysterious, cold character who's usually hard to read but occasionally lets a more caring side of him slip, so it's difficult to understand him and Kujira seems to have some pretty bad insecurities, which leads to him thinking that Shirogane might be messing with him for whatever reason. Honestly, it's like a romantic game of tennis because they're really just hitting the ball back and forth."

"Isn't there a lot of smut in that book?" Iruka asked, which had Kakashi blinking. How did he know that? 

Sure, the brunette was a ninja, so he wasn't a hundred percent innocent, but... He was pretty innocent. 

Wholesome. 

Not the type to read the kind of scenes that were depicted in Verbatim; bondage, degradation, edging, roleplay, the works that rivaled the likes of Icha Icha Violence.

Not the type to be even remotely interested in the BDSM-laced novels and comics that Kakashi was.

Iruka Umino's mere vibe just screamed vanilla to him, but then again, he didn't know about Iruka's sex life or anything, and he figured he'd already spent more time thinking about that than what would be considered healthy, so he decided to respond.

"Have you read it?"

"No, but Anko has," Iruka answered, which had Kakashi confused. Since when did Anko like reading? "We were talking about it the other day."

"Ah, well, yeah, there's a good five chapters of smut out of the twenty that are in here, so it's prominent, but not the main focus. The two main characters hook up a few times when they're still trying to figure out what the other character's feelings are- I interpreted as a thing of 'I don't know if you actually love me back, but I'm gonna take the physical affection while I can'. The story's quite compelling, really. You guys should give it a read." Everyone gave him a weird look at that, but Kakashi could only shrug. "I mean, I hadn't heard of the author before this, so I'm assuming they're just starting out. Some extra support might be nice."

"That's a fair point, Kakashi." A few seconds passed, and Iruka piped up again, giving a small smile. "Well, I've gotta go," Iruka finished his drink in one go and left enough money to pay for it on the table before sliding out from the booth and standing up. "There are papers I need to grade waiting for me at home, but I'll see you guys later. Bye!" He waved and got a few goodbyes from everyone else, and then, he left.

Kakashi's one revealed eye was trained on Iruka as the brunette as he walked away from their table and out the door of the bar, a sigh leaving from in between his lips.

"I should head out, too. I'll see you guys later." 

Not even waiting for a response since everyone else seemed caught up in their own conversations, Kakashi quietly made his way out of the booth and walked across the bar to the door with his book in hand, exiting and taking in a deep breath when the cool air hit his face.

He started to walk home, pushing the copy of Verbatim into his back pocket as he looked up at the night sky. It was a cloudy night, which covered the stars that he usually liked to admire, though he liked the clouds, too. They were light and airy, hardly visible as the moonlight shone through them.

For whatever reason, he found his mind drifting back to Iruka.

Their relationship was odd. They saw each other regularly- whether it be because Iruka helped the Hokage sort through mission reports at the mission desk, because they had mutual friends, or because of their students, they ran into each other at least once a week. Kakashi wouldn't really consider them friends, but he wished they were friends- no, he wished they were more than friends- he'd been in love with Iruka for years. He wasn't sure exactly when it started, but he was sure of the fact that it was a complete and utter disaster. 

Like the sky itself, his mind was also clouded, but rather than actual clouds, it was more bright smiles, sunkissed skin, chocolate eyes and silky, chestnut-hued hair, and strong hands holding Kakashi's own.

"Iruka wouldn't ever want me," he thought as he got back to his apartment complex, climbing up the stairs and reaching into his pockets for his keys.

Though he knew the truth, he found solace in being able to dream about it, and after seeing Iruka, he assumed that he would be doing a lot of dreaming about the younger man that night.


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iruka Umino is already nervous enough when he's stuck sitting at the bar yet again with Kakashi Hatake by his side. Little does he know that Anko Mitarashi has a plan to give the two even more alone time together.

It was a couple of months later, and Iruka had thought that he was in the clear. Things between him and Kakashi had been relatively normal, Verbatim hadn't been talked about as much despite it having become surprisingly popular with the adult literature community in the Leaf Village, and he'd had the opportunity to see his crush in social settings more than he usually would- a lot like he was now. Yet again, the two were sitting with their friends at the local bar, shoulders brushing against each other. Kakashi was to his left at the end of the booth, while Asuma, Kurenai, and Gai were to his right.

"I have a confession," Asuma started, leaning back into the booth as he crossed his arms, a light blush taking over his tan face. "I read the book since the second one came out today," Right when he had thought he was in the clear, Verbatim came up again. Of course, it made sense- he'd just finished the second part of the series and made copies to have sold at the local bookstore under his penname just that morning. "It's actually pretty good, and I'm not one for, uh, this kind of literature."

Iruka Umino was a bit overwhelmed. With his initial intention of simply providing something for Kakashi Hatake to read and enjoy so he could see the older man happy, he hadn't really expected for a huge portion of the Leaf Village to fall in love with his work. He hadn't expected to collect hundreds of dollars from it, nor had he expected numerous fan letters to be sent with the checks from the bookstore, but here he was. Verbatim had gone farther than being something that was solely for Kakashi, and though Kakashi was still the main motivation behind it, he felt obligated to continue the series for everyone who was reading it. Maybe he was in over his head, but Iruka figured that he might've discovered a new passion in doing all of this.

His main fear was that his identity as the author would be exposed. While Kakashi and all of his mutuals finding out would be embarrassing, it could also affect his career detrimentally. It was perfectly reasonable for an adult man like himself to have a sex life and certain interests and preferences, but God forbid the community and the parents of the kids he taught at the academy found out that he was making extra money by writing erotica and romance, he'd be crucified- possibly even lose his job, regardless of the fact that he would never, ever let Verbatim or anything remotely like it get into his classroom.

Essentially; he was excited that it was getting popular and that he'd achieved his initial goal of entertaining Kakashi, but the more popular it got, the more he risked having someone find out about the writer's- his- identity, the more pressure he felt to mass-produce the series, and the more stressed he became.

"I read it as well," To his horror, Kurenai pulled out a copy of both the first and second book, setting them down on the table. "It's a quite compelling story."

"I must agree!" Even Guy seemed enthusiastic about Verbatim, nearly buzzing with excitement where he sat. "My eternal rival, who knew you had such good tastes!? I can't wait for the next book to come out! It's pretty soon, right?"

"I think so. I'm pretty excited about it, but I'll still have to read the second one a few more times since I picked it up just this morning. The third book will probably be out in a few months," With that, Kakashi turned to Iruka, raising an eyebrow. "Say, Iruka, did you get around to reading Verbatim? From what I've heard, it's become quite popular. Closet pervert Ebisu's a fan, and much more importantly- and a little less gross to think about- even Lady Tsunade likes it."

"Haha, I, um..." Iruka trailed off, debating on lying about it. He was a teacher at The Ninja Academy and arguably the most innocent-seeming adult in their village, but literally everyone had read his book and it would stick out if he hadn't. "Well, I do have a copy of the first book. It isn't all that bad."

"Isn't all that bad?" Kakashi started, but Iruka wasn't paying much attention, as his focus shifted to the front door of the bar. To his surprise, no other than one of Kakashi's ninken, Pakkun, was walking in through the doors. The fluffy, wrinkly dog walked through the bar and to their booth, the red lighting making his fur look a darker shade than it really was. "That's an unders-" Kakashi cut himself off upon seeing Pakkun sitting in front of their booth, staring up at the silver-haired man with expectant eyes. "Oh, Pakkun, what's up?"

"Lady Hokage wants you and Iruka in her office."

Iruka's eyebrows shot straight up at that. Why would Tsunade need both of them? Was it an emergency? Did she have a mission for them?

"Oh?" Kakashi tilted his head in curiosity before sliding out of the booth and standing up, Iruka doing the same. "Alright, then. Iruka, let's go."

After some brief goodbyes from their friends, the two left, walking outside of the bar and starting their small trip to the Hokage's office, Pakkun quietly walking in front of them.

"What do you think she wants?" Iruka questioned after a few moments, earning him a shrug from Kakashi.

"I have no idea. You never know with her."

Iruka felt their fingers brush, and though he was tempted to reach out and hold Kakashi's hand, he was too paralyzed by fear to do so. Instead, he crossed his arms and stared down at the ground.

"Ah, fair point. Guess we'll find out."

When they got to the Hokage's office, Iruka had to admit that he was slightly shocked to see that Shizune wasn't there. Tsunade was sitting in her desk like usual, Pakkun was still in front of them, and Tonton was walking around the office rather aimlessly. Still, Iruka knew not to question the Hokage, and he was too enamored with the fact that Kakashi was even standing next to him to pay that much attention.

"What do you need, Lady Hokage?"

"Well, there's no one else available right now, but I'm busy with papers here," Tsunade said, pointing to the stack of papers that was on her desk- as always, it was ridiculously huge, probably taller than Iruka himself. "And the second book of Verbatim was just released. Would you mind going to pick it up for me?"

Iruka deadpanned, blinking. Kakashi hadn't been kidding. Even Lady Tsunade was a fan of his book. 

Thankfully, as Iruka stood there soon, Kakashi spoke for him. "Oh, sure thing. We'll be back soon."

"Thank you."

With that, they both walked out, and weirdly enough, Pakkun stayed in the office with Tsunade. When they got outside again, Iruka took in a deep breath. Something about that whole interaction was weird, but he was so panicked over Kakashi and Verbatim that he hadn't been able to pay enough attention to all of the details to figure out exactly what it was... Or maybe he was being weird and overanalyzing things.

"...Isn't that odd?" Iruka asked, glancing over at Kakashi. It was evening, the sun was setting, and Kakashi Hatake looked gorgeous. Suddenly, he realized how appreciative he was of the mere sight of the older man; the last bits of sunlight reflected against his silvery hair, bringing out the cool undertones, the oranges and pinks shining on the parts of his pale face that weren't covered by his mask. The different shades of black and grey that were in his one revealed eye were brought out, and Iruka had to snap out of his lovestruck daze when the taller man looked at him curiously. Too embarrassed to hold eye-contact, the brunette broke it and clarified the question he's asked just a few seconds before. "That she needs both of us to go do it? And where was Shizune?"

"Eh, who knows. It's not that big of a deal. Everyone is reading that book right now, so I'm not really surprised that she wants us to go get it, though the fact that she needed both of us was odd... I dunno."

"Yeah..."

"I really wish I knew who the author was. They're going by an anonymous pen name, and no one at the bookstore knows. You said you bought the first book, right?" Iruka blushed, feeling his stomach drop. He prayed that Kakashi wasn't going around asking everyone about this. Hopefully, Anko wouldn't tell him anything about Iruka being the author of Verbatim, and hopefully, Kakashi didn't do thorough research. Kakashi could find out anything he wanted to if he really worked at it, and usually, he didn't work to find out about these kinds of things. Iruka could only hope that things remained that way. "Do you have any idea?"

Iruka only shrugged, not wanting to directly lie to Kakashi's face. "Who knows? Maybe you'll find out someday..."

Meanwhile, back in the Hokage's (irresponsibly attended) office;

"Did you really take advantage of Lady Tsunade leaving you with me to watch her office just to do that?" Shizune questioned, releasing her transformation jutsu as she stared at her girlfriend, Anko Mitarashi, who was sitting in the Hokage's chair, her legs crossed and feet propped up on the desk. The purple-haired woman had released her transformation a few moments before, which was nice, because seeing her look exactly like Tsunade was a little odd.

"What can I say?" Anko laughed, shaking her head. "They've been pining years and this whole waiting for them to get together thing is getting a little tedious, babe! Plus, it wouldn't hurt for them to spend a bit more time together, and you're the one who let me," She argued, playfully pointing at Shizune in a playful manner. The ravenette only offered a small smile, picking Tonton up off of the floor and holding the small pig close to her chest. "You even transformed into one of Kakashi's ninken for it."

"I can't believe they didn't pick up on either of us..." Shizune trailed off, somewhat confused. Kakashi Hatake was a Jonin, talented and well known in their village for being both sharp and brutal in combat- able to pick up on anything. Iruka Umino was a Chunin, much softer in nature than Kakashi, but still rather intelligent and skilled nonetheless. Both of them should've been able to pick up on the fact that the chakras surrounding them were Anko's and Shizune's rather than Tsunade and Pakkun's. "Am I impressed with you, concerned for them, or amused by the entire situation?"

"Some combination of the three, probably. They were so enamored with each other that they couldn't even pick up on our chakra!" Anko rested her hand on the desktop, looking at Tonton, and then up at Shizune. "Anyways, I've gotta head out. You got this under wraps, Shizune? Tonton?"

"Yeah, we've got this. Here's the keys, by the way," Shizune held Tonton in one arm, using her spare hand to reach into her pocket and grab her key ring, which she handed to her girlfriend. Anko had some work that she'd left at Shizune's house, and they stayed at each other's places regularly, so the ravenette figured that it wouldn't be weird to have the younger woman over again. Shizune, however, would be stuck waiting in the Hokage's office and watching it until Tsunade got back from her weekly game of poker at the local casino. "I'll see you at mine?"

Anko smirked, taking the keys from her hand, and their fingers brushed against each other. Like it had when they first met, it still made Shizune's heart nearly leap out of her chest despite that they had known each other for years and been dating for a good while- not long enough for them to tell anyone yet, but a good three- almost four- months now.  
"See you at yours."


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iruka Umino runs into Kakashi Hatake yet again. As the reality of his current situation begins to sink in, he mulls over what he plans on doing for the next book of Verbatim.

It had been a long day of teaching at The Ninja Academy, and as much as Iruka loved his students, he was happy to be walking home. He'd spent the entire day dealing with chaotic children, and after they'd left, he'd been stuck finishing grading and lesson plans. So, he wanted to write to get rid of the lingering stress, and then hopefully get some rest.

To his surprise, as he went to turn a corner, he saw no other than his crush and the unknowing reader of his Verbatim series, Kakashi Hatake.

"Hey, Iruka." The silver-haired man was smiling under his mask, which Iruka could see based on how the dark material slightly curled along Kakashi's lips.

"Oh, hello, Kakashi!" Iruka greeted, happy to see that Kakashi seemed happy. "How are you?"

"I'm well, and you? You look like you're in a good mood," It was a beautiful sight, really, but Iruka was sure that the Jonin already knows that. Something about Kakashi's appearance just made him look lighter- the smile, paired with the relaxed posture and the way his dark eye seemed to sparkle in excitement, the wind blowing through his silvery hair making him seem particularly ethereal on that warm afternoon. "What's up?"

"Nothing much, just excited for the third book of the Verbatim series," Iruka had to mentally suppress the exasperated sigh that threatened to come out. Books one and two had been out for a long time, but still, every time it was mentioned around him- especially by Kakashi- he continued to get that familiarly scary sensation of his heart dropping to the bottom of his stomach. "I heard that it's coming out soon."

"Is that so? You must be really, uh, enamored with that series..." Umino blushed, running a hand through his ponytail as his brown eyes met Hatake's one darker one again. 

"I am," Kakashi dramatically placed a hand over his chest, an uncharacteristically lovestruck expression taking over what Iruka could see of his face. "Whoever wrote this masterpiece has my heart, truly," Iruka chuckled at the irony of that one, a bit soft at the thought that Kakashi was so smitten with something he'd made. "Anyways, I'm gonna go to the bookstore to see if it's out yet. Would you like to come with?"

Of course, Iruka knew that the book wasn't out. He was still writing it, but he didn't dare mention that as he was still being careful to hide his identity as Risso, the author of Verbatim.

"Ah, I would, but I have some work to do," He lied, giving an awkward smile. He was caught up on all of his grading, but as much as he would've loved to spend time with Kakashi, he'd had such a long day, and the mere thought of it at that moment made him nervous. "I hope you find what you're looking for."

"Thanks. I'll see you later, Iruka." Kakashi waved, turning away and walking in the opposite direction to head to the bookstore. The brunette kept his eyes on his crush's back for just a moment until the older man was too far for him to see.

"God... This is a bit depressing," Iruka laughed bitterly to no one but himself, shaking his head and crossing his arms. He immediately regretted lying about having work so he could have an excuse to refuse Kakashi's offer, but logically, he knew that he could've risked slipping up about it being him who was Risso, and it was better to miss out on a half-hour or so of time with the silver-haired man than it was to risk accidentally exposing himself. "Oh well."

With that, he slowly walked the rest of the way home, letting out a small sigh of relief when he reached his apartment complex. 

'As of now, my plans for the rest of the night are to overthink how much I just fucked up that interaction and get some writing done. Cool!'

Iruka shook his head yet again and quickly climbed the stairs before reaching his door and unlocking it. The brunette walked in, unable to help the sudden loneliness that consumed his being as he shut the door behind him. With Naruto gone, he didn't have any family (yes, he considered Naruto family), and he'd been single for as long as he could remember. Sure, he'd experimented with Anko when they were teenagers as a 'to get it out of the way and find out what we like' kind of deal, but that was before his feelings for Kakashi even came into the picture and they'd always been strictly platonic despite those interactions, and sure, he'd had a few one night stands when he was out of the village on missions and especially brave or tipsy, but he'd never had the full contentment of falling asleep in someone's arms at night and having them say 'I love you' when he woke up in the morning. 

His apartment was depressingly empty; just enough furniture for him and the very rare guest, just enough food for himself, just enough everything for himself. It was quiet, the only sound in the living room being the light pitter-patter of his footsteps against the wooden floors as he hung his bag on the coatrack and sat down at his roller chair. 

He blinked before scooting his chair further under his desk and leaning down, opening his draft book and flipping to the end of it, where he'd written out the end of his most recent installation of Verbatim, which would be book three of the series.

Book one of Verbatim had been rather simple. It was used to give exposition for the two main characters, Kujira and Shirogane, and their somewhat awkward relationship as two coworkers who were seen as acquaintances but both secretly held feelings for each other. He'd also put the effort in to explain how having a career as a ninja would work through the story for the civilians in the village who would be reading it, as he didn't want anyone to be too confused by it. 

He'd given the basics of the two main characters and their friends, how they were connected, and what their relationship was like. Due to a mission that the two ninja had been sent on outside of their home village, they grew closer throughout the course of the story and developed something of a coworkers- or even friends, dependent on your interpretation- with benefits relationship. The book ended when their shared mission did, and after returning to their village, Kujira and Shirogane drifted apart, returning to their normal way of life.   
The book was actually in Kujira's point of view, so he didn't know exactly how Shirogane saw things and he was rather oblivious to the older man's feelings, so he simply thought that Shirogane must have seen him as a temporary fling. The last scene is something like Kujira walking past Shirogane on the street and waving, but not stopping to have a conversation despite how close they'd been during the aforementioned mission, and he quickly leaves, filled with regret.

Book two of Verbatim had been a little more complicated. With everything about both characters- especially Kujira- established by the first book, he'd decided to make the next one in Shirogane's point of view so he could give the older of the two characters some backstory and establish his feelings for Kujira, which actually weren't that different from Kujira's feelings for him, which he didn't know about. 

Similar to how Kujira thought that their temporary physical relationship was just a friends with benefits type of deal in the first book, Shirogane had assumed that Kujira had simply wanted something physical for the time being. Inevitably, the two begin to run into each other more and more in this installation of the series, which is about a year after their first one. Shirogane is a very cold, peculiar seeming character who tries to hide his feelings at first, but he has come to term with his feelings for Kujira after having had them for so long, and when all of their mutual friends become friends and start to hang out more (and drag Kujira and Shirogane along), he manages to deal with it quite well. As the readers are told the story through Shirogane's eyes, it becomes obvious that he fell in love with the Kujira he met years ago, and he gets to know the current Kujira, who he turns out to love more. Both characters hook up with other people and try other relationships in a denial sort of phase, only to find out that it never works, and end up drunkenly hooking up with each other a few times, only to never bring it up. Surprisingly, they fall into a peaceful friendship despite all of this and the book ends on kind of a cliffhanger with a scene of the two going to grab ramen together and a final reflection on Shirogane's strengthened feelings for Kujira.

Book three of Verbatim was almost ready to publish. It had been in the works for a few months, and all he had left was the epilogue. Then, he'd have Anko read it, they'd edit together once, and he'd edit it a couple of more times by himself just to make sure that it was perfect. This installation was the height of the book, characterized by a mess of both characters' feelings spilling over and causing numerous misunderstandings between them and all of their friends that were all in Kujira's point of view. Honestly, the third book was just a lot of mutual pining and confusion, paired with a few more smut scenes, those of which were considerably more intimate and less casual than the ones in the book before it.   
Book four- the final book of Verbatim and the resolution of all of the conflicts from the earlier books- was planned out in his head, but he hadn't written anything down for it yet, so that would be a challenge. Still, though, considering how soon he'd be releasing book three, he hoped it would tide his readers over until he was able to release book four.  
Of course, since Kakashi's whole modus operandi when it came to picking up books was finding something that was particularly (and questionably) erotic, so Iruka had made sure to do thorough research so he could make each book have a good amount of smut chapters- maybe a fourth or more of them, dependent on which book in the series it was. The brunette had tried to add in a variety of kinks and preferences without going ridiculously taboo- just a few of the basic things he was into and knew plenty of other people were into; sensory deprivation, bondage, overstimulation, edging, (very rarely) degradation, praise, and dominant and submissive dynamics. Based on the way Kakashi had enthusiastically reacted to the first two books, Iruka had been led to believe that Kakashi was somewhat interested in those things, and that...

Well, that resulted in fantasies and dreams that he never really wanted to admit to having.

Sighing, he leaned back in his chair as he looked down at all of his drafts.

Hopefully, when he did publish, Kakashi would like it.

And hopefully, no one would figure out that it was him who was the author of Verbatim.


	7. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi Hatake is excited for the third book of Verbatim, which has just come out. He decides to stop by his crush's apartment, only to end up seeing a little more than intended.

Kakashi Hatake was buzzing with excitement, the third book of Verbatim resting in his back pocket. The book had just come out, which was an instant mood-booster, but he found his smile growing even more when he noticed whose apartment he happened to be walking by.

Iruka Umino lived in a small, peaceful complex that was a lot like Kakashi's. The windows of every unit were facing the street, so Iruka's was easily seen, and also easily identifiable due to the soft, white curtains that usually covered the glass. For once, they were pulled back, the window that they were usually in front of clear and able to be seen through. Kakashi could see that the window was open, too, but it was a couple of stories up, so he couldn't see into the room. Knowing that he needed to stop by Iruka's anyways, he simply scaled the building, getting to Iruka's window and quietly sitting in the sill.

It was a habit of his that was usually silly and harmless- it was funny when people scolded him for lack of manners, or even when he got a good jumpscare in, but he found that he immediately regretted not going to the door like a civilized member of society when he saw that he'd popped in on Iruka getting dressed.

Somehow, the brunette hadn't noticed him, and Kakashi debated on simply leaving, but he was afraid that he would make some sort of noise and alert Iruka of his presence on the way out. Thankfully, Iruka at least had boxers on. Kakashi's gaze lingered on the younger man's back; tan, extremely scarred, toned. Iruka's long, brown hair fell over his shoulders, and Kakashi blinked as he remembered that he'd never actually seen Iruka with his hair down before this. The muscles in his arms and shoulder shifted underneath his taut skin as he slipped on his pants, and the silver-haired man was questioning how he was going to dip or let Iruka know that he was there.

He figured he would act casual, as to not hint to his crush. So, when Iruka picked up his shirt to put on, Kakashi cleared his throat to make his presence known.

"Good morning, Sensei!" Kakashi laughed, and Iruka turned to face him so fast that he almost got whiplash from it, clutching his shirt to cover his chest and stomach.

"Kakashi!" Iruka exclaimed, face burning bright red. "Um, do you need something?"

"Just wanted to talk." Kakashi shrugged, and Iruka offered a nervous chuckle in return.

"Think you could give me a sec to finish changing?" Iruka asked, averting his gaze. "I-I don't really like people seeing me like this."

"Oh, okay, I'll meet you at your door?"

"Sure." Iruka nodded, and with that, Kakashi scaled back down the building before getting to the ground and climbing up the stairs of the complex. When he reached Iruka's door, he stood there for a moment, waiting for the younger man to answer. When the shorter man finally did open the door and greet him, Kakashi grinned under his mask.

"Iruka! It's been so long since I've seen you," Kakashi joked and took in the appearance of the younger man. The brunette was only wearing his pants and a long-sleeved undershirt, his headband not even present on his forehead. His hair was up in a messy bun rather than in its usual neat ponytail- probably a style he'd done really quick so he could rush to answer the door for Kakashi. 

"Haha, yeah..." Iruka laughed, opening the door for Kakashi to come in, which he did. The brunette shut the door before walking into the kitchen, Kakashi following behind him. "Anyways, what did you need to talk about?" The younger man asked, walking over to the stove, where he seemed to have some tea on the kettle. Kakashi smiled, leaning back against the counter. If it weren't for the context of their relationship, he'd almost think that the scene domestic.

Iruka turned the stove off and reached up into the cabinet, grabbing a couple of mugs and setting them down next to the tea kettle. When Kakashi spoke again, Iruka seemed to nearly jump at his words, the sirene smile he'd been wearing seconds before being replaced by an expression of slight surprise.

"Nothing in particular," Kakashi lied- he'd had something to talk about, he'd just panicked and forgotten what it was when Iruka looked over at him with those gorgeous brown eyes, so he was going to play the casually weird personality card that he usually played when he didn't want Iruka to overanalyze his slipups and find out about his feelings. "But is it just me, or did you seem jumpy today? You've been off recently."

"Is that so? My apologies, then," Iruka stared down at the stove, picking up the teakettle and pouring the hot liquid into both of the cups that he'd grabbed. "It must be stress," He set the kettle down and picked both cups up, walking over to where Kakashi was standing and holding one of them out for the older man. "Tea?"

"Sure." He took the cup, and Iruka stood next to him, both of them leaning their backs against the counter and sipping from their drinks. The tea was hot, definitely something herbal and somewhat sweet and earthy. "Sorry about popping up in your window, by the way. I didn't know that you would be... Changing, and I didn't know that you would be so bashful about it either."

"Don't worry about it, just try to catch me at a better time or show up at my doorstep."

They both paused for a moment, neither of them saying anything until Kakashi noticed an open notebook laying on the counter. Kakashi raised his eyebrows, looking over at it.

"Oh? What's that?"

"Ah! Um, nothing, just, uh..." Almost as quickly as he'd rushed to answer, Iruka took the notebook into one hand and shut it, pushing it into one of the kitchen drawers with a sheepish smile and a small blush. Was it a diary or something? "Lesson plans."

"Yeah, I'm sure you're being so protective of those so very important lesson plans. Anyways, I did have something I wanted to ask you," After having calmed down and recovered from the fact that he'd seen Iruka with hardly any clothes on, Kakashi remembered what he'd went there for in the first place- Guy had wanted him to invite Iruka to the local bar where they'd be hanging out with a few of their friends the next day. "We're all meeting up at the bar tomorrow, and I wanted to know if you'd like to tag along?"

"Who's we?" Iruka asked, tilting his head.

"Asuma, Kurenai, Genma, Izumo, Kotetsu, Guy... Maybe Anko if you wanna invite her too, I figured you could extend the invitation to her since you two are, y'know," Kakashi muttered, knowing that Iruka and Anko had always been best friends.

"We're what? Oh! No, we aren't. People make that assumption a lot, but we're just good friends. Neither of us are straight anyways."

Well, that was good information. Kakashi had meant to imply that Anko and Iruka were close rather than dating, but if he got a hint about Iruka's sexuality, he figured that worked, too.

"Ah, that makes sense. I should probably go see what Tsunade wanted since she called me a few hours ago, but I'll see you tomorrow." Kakashi finished his tea, setting the cup down on the counter. "I know you're a bit bothered by me entering through windows, but do you mind if I exit through one?"

"Heh," Iruka grinned, looking down into his teacup with a soft gaze. "Go ahead."


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi Hatake is surprised to find out what can happen with a little bit of motivation and liquid courage. More importantly, he hopes that Iruka won't flip out when he wakes up in a bed that isn't his.

Kakashi Hatake was uncharacteristically nervous as he sat at the bar, Iruka to his right, all of his other friends to his left. There were too many people at this gathering- Kakashi himself, Iruka, Genma, Kotetsu, Izumo, Anko, Guy, Kurenai, and Asuma- so instead of grabbing a booth like they usually would, they all sat at the bar, each of them with their own barstool (aside from Kurenai, who was casually sitting on Asuma's lap).

Kakashi wasn't really engaging in conversation with any of them, only drinking alcoholic beverage after alcoholic beverage to keep himself occupied. After what had happened with Iruka the day prior, he hadn't been able to get the younger man out of his mind, so having the brunette sitting right next to him had him shifting uncomfortably in his seat. 

When he'd gotten home the night before, the events that had happened were... Embarrassing, to say the least. Though he'd occasionally picked up people to take home with him when they were at bars like this so he could get physical relief when he was particularly pent up, he could usually handle those things by himself, and due to Verbatim, he had some pretty good material to do that too.

The mortifying part was that he'd imagined Iruka and himself in the place of the main characters as he read, but he figured that it wasn't too much of a problem as long as he kept it in the deep, dark depths of his mind.

Speaking of that problem, though, he was rather confused by the situation in front of him. Iruka's barstool had been about a foot away from him when he'd first got there, but upon seeing that it was now closer, Kakashi was a little unsettled. Then again, he'd been downing drinks, Iruka had also been downing drinks, and both of them seemed to be in their own bubble in comparison to their friends, who were all socializing with each other. Maybe Kakashi was just imagining things.

The theory of him imagining things went out the window when he felt Iruka's head resting on his shoulder, and sure, the brunette had drunk a lot, but it wasn't enough for him to be unaware of his actions, right? No- this must've been conscious, it had to be, but since when was Iruka so openly affectionate? Was he interested? Was he trying to make a move? Kakashi didn't know, but the alcohol that he'd downed had him feeling a little braver than he usually would, and he was tempted to see how Iruka would react to having the touch reciprocated.  
Careful to gauge Iruka's reaction, Kakashi gently rested his hand on the younger man's knee and moved it up to his mid-thigh. When he looked over to see Iruka staring at him with an utterly bewildered expression, he averted his gaze jerked his hand back, only for the brunette to reach over and grab it. 

For just a moment, the world stopped. They only stared at each other, the red lighting of the bar making Iruka's best features stand out as the chatter of their friends and light rock in the building acted as white noise. When the brunette placed Kakashi's hand back on his thigh, he felt like he'd been slapped in the face in the best way possible.  
The silver-haired man paused, taking in the sensation of the younger man's warm skin underneath the thin material of his pants, gulping. 

Just about everyone else seemed occupied. Asuma and Kurenai were being their usual, lovey-dovey selves, Guy, Kotetsu, and Izumo were having a drinking contest, and Anko of all people was giving Genma love advice for whatever reason...

They could probably slip out without anyone noticing. Iruka had work the next morning, and Kakashi was rather unpredictable, so both of them escaping unnoticed wouldn't be seen as especially weird. Still, he knew that he was thinking a bit too far ahead, so he simply enjoyed the moment- at least until Iruka leaned into his ear to whisper something.

"Meet me outside in ten?"

Chills. 

Kakashi's ears burned red as fire consumed his being, sending flashes of heat up and down his body at the mere sound of Iruka's voice and the slight brush of the brunette's lips against the shell of his ear.

With that, Iruka stood up and walked out of the bar, leaving Kakashi there to let out a breath that he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. He glanced over at his friends again to see that they were all still doing their own things, so he pulled his mask down and slammed the rest of his drink before pulling it back over his face.

Honestly? He was sure that he hadn't even waited the full ten minutes that Iruka had told him to, but he didn't really care. He slinked away from the bar, praying that no one had noticed him as he walked to the front door and made his way outside.

"Hey," Iruka spoke, leaning his back against the wall outside of the bar, a blush and a smile on his face as Kakashi approached him.

"Hey," Kakashi was in awe- not that he'd express it too much- but the sight of Iruka Umino stepping up to him and placing a hand on his chest was one that the silver-haired man thought would make anyone struggle not to drop dead.

It was odd, and a bit scary. He and Iruka hadn't ever crossed a line like this before, and logically, he knew that there was no going back if things escalated the way he thought they were going to. Their relationship had always been weird in an unspoken way- friends, acquaintances, coworkers, he didn't know what they were- but it had almost always been the same, unchanging with Kakashi having a secret crush on the younger man that grew worse and worse with every year that passed. Iruka hadn't ever reciprocated, and Kakashi hadn't even thought that he'd made his feelings well known enough for Iruka to pick up on them. So what was up tonight? Was it just the alcohol? If it was the alcohol, had it made Iruka delirious or something, or was it acting as liquid courage to fuel a move that Iruka might've been wanting to make for a long time? No, that was ridiculous. Why would Iruka even be interested in him?

He didn't know the answers to any of his questions, but he tried to act cool, calm, and collected despite the fact that he felt the most dead inside and simultaneously the most alive than he ever had before in his entire life.

"Can I do something?" The brunette questioned, tilting his head. Kakashi blinked, nodding as his mouth went dry.

With that, Iruka reached up and curled his rough fingers around the cloth of Kakashi's mask, yanking it down before hot lips met his. The silver-haired man responded as soon as the kiss registered in his mind, his own chapped lips quickly moving against Iruka's much more velvety ones. It was heated, messy, and exactly everything Kakashi had imagined that their first kiss would be in all of the fantasies he'd had. His hand drifted down to settle on Iruka's waist for a moment, and he took in the scent of the younger man, something akin to caramel and smoke, like smores over a fire on a chilly night.

When Umino pulled away, Hatake found himself instantly missing the other man's warmth.

"So, whose place are we going to?" Kakashi asked, half-joking, which was why he was so surprised when Iruka answered seriously.

"Yours," The brunette muttered, still close enough for his lips to be brushing against Kakashi's. "I think it's closer."

"Yeah, it is."

The walk to Kakashi's apartment was rather relaxing despite the passionate kiss they'd had just moments before.

Kakashi Hatake's fantasies about Iruka Umino were typically rather embarrassing- debauched and sexual, he would never say them out loud- but somehow, it was always the more innocent things that he did with Iruka in his dreams that embarrassed him the most; buying the brunette flowers just to see his face light up, winning his heart and waking up to his smile in the morning, evening cuddles when they both got off of work, walking home together.

He'd rather die than let Iruka found out just how many times he'd cuddled a pillow at night and imagined that it was the Chunin's warm body in his strong arms rather than some stuffing and cloth enclosed in a satiny case.

His mind was in overdrive to the point where he didn't even think about it as he climbed up the stairs of his apartment and pulled out the keys from his pocket to unlock the door before walking in, Iruka following. The silver-haired man shut and locked the door behind him before tossing his keys somewhere across his empty living room and turning to Iruka, pulling the younger man back into his arms.

"Top or bottom?"

"I think I could go either way," Kakashi started, pulling his mask back down to give Iruka access. They began to kiss again, slowly moving past Kakashi's living room and into the hallway that led to his bedroom. Iruka had him pushed up against his own bedroom door when he finally pulled away for a breath of air so he could speak again. "You?"

"I'd rather bottom tonight if that's okay." The word 'tonight' caught his attention with its implications, and maybe Kakashi was being a bit too optimistic, but he was praying that 'tonight' meant that they would be doing this on multiple nights in the future.

"You know, I didn't take you for a bottom," Kakashi raised his eyebrows as he reached behind himself to open his bedroom door, both men tumbling into the room. "That's a pleasant surprise."

In a display of confidence that he hadn't had the day before when Kakashi had walked in on him changing, Iruka led Kakashi to the bed, gently pushing the silver-haired man back. Of course, Kakashi took the hint and sat down on the edge of the bed, eyes still trained on the brunette, who untied his forehead protector and set it down on the nightstand before shedding his shoes, vest, and pants, leaving him in nothing but his boxers and long-sleeved shirt as he moved to stand between Kakashi's slightly spread legs.

"There's probably a lot of things about me that'd surprise you." 

While this was a newer, bolder side of Iruka that Kakashi wasn't at all used to, he had to admit that he was already quite fond of it.

"Like?"

"Like... I've been wanting to do this-" Suddenly, Iruka's fingers were weaving through his feathery locks of silver hair to get a grip on the back of his head, yanking it back so he could bury his face into Kakashi's neck and use his other hand to grab the Jonin's mask and tear it right off of where it'd been hanging around his neck, tossing it across the room. Kakashi was glad that he had more of those, but he found that he had more important things to focus on as Iruka pushed him back on the bed and used the absence of his neck to press open-mouthed kisses against his neck. The brunette spoke between each wine-hued hickey he left on Kakashi's neck, the older man pulling him all the way into his lap. "To you for the past few years."

"Seems like we're one and the same, then..." Kakashi mumbled, already able to feel his length straining against his pants. He scooted back, spreading his legs a little wider and placing his hands behind himself on the mattress to hold his weight up. Iruka wasted no time in climbing on top of him, thighs on either side of the man's hips.

"I can't believe I'm actually seeing your face," Iruka chuckled, taking his shirt off and dropping it on the bed next to them before placing his hands on Kakashi's cheeks. The silver-haired man couldn't help but smile a bit, dark eyes peering into Iruka's brown ones as his face burned with the blush that began to consume him. "Wow."

"Like what you see?" Kakashi realized that he was overly-dressed and took his headband- which had already been pushed up at some point to reveal both of his eyes- and set it on the nightstand next to Iruka's, kicking his shoes off and pulling his shirt over his head to put on top of the brunette's.

"Definitely," Iruka gulped, and whether it was because he'd sobered up some or because the reality of the situation was only just now hitting him, Kakashi didn't know, but he seemed much more nervous than he'd been moments before. "This might be the first time I've seen you blush."

"That's because I'm usually wearing a mask to cover it up."

"Fair point, um..." Iruka trailed off, his uncharacteristic confidence slipping as he glanced off to the side, avoiding eye-contact with the older man. "Is this position good?"

"Yeah, it is. Here," Kakashi rested a hand on Iruka's back for just a moment to support his weight as he moved to rest his back against the headboard of his bed, keeping the brunette in his lap and resting his hands on those soft, sunkissed thighs. When he looked up again, Iruka was still averting his gaze, and he was a bit worried about how unsure the younger man looked. "Are you okay?"

"I'm good, it's just that I'm a little self-conscious about all the scars I have," Kakashi hadn't even thought about it until Iruka had said that, but it was true that the brunette had a lot of scars- the one on his nose, a particularly large one on his back that he'd probably earned during Mizuki's betrayal a few years prior that was accompanied a couple of smaller healed wounds, and even a few on his chest, and some on his arms and knees. It was normal for a ninja to have scars- Kakashi had plenty of his own- so he was a bit surprised that Iruka was self-conscious about them at all. Then again, he didn't know the story, and the stories were usually what made the scars so hard to talk about, which was part of why Kakashi hid his own under his forehead protector- that scar was just a reminder of how he'd failed as a friend and as a teammate. Iruka spoke up again, and Kakashi snapped out of his self-deprecation just in time to listen. Iruka's smile was sheepish now as he moved his arms, almost like he was hugging himself in a gesture of self-comfort without even realizing it. "And it's honestly been a while, so I can't say I'm used to this... Hope that doesn't bother you."

It wasn't like Iruka to be so open, but then again, he had been drinking, and the situation they were in was rather intimate. Suddenly, Kakashi remembered how awkward Iruka had seemed the day before and how the brunette had rushed to cover himself up when the older man had accidentally popped in on him changing. That explained it.

"Not at all," The silver-haired man tried to be reassuring, reaching forward and grabbing Iruka's hands, intertwining their fingers. "I think you're gorgeous," He leaned up, pressing a tender kiss against the scar on the younger man's nose. "All of you- even the scars- no, especially the scars."

"Kakashi..." Iruka laughed, and Kakashi had paid enough attention to all of Iruka's layers and facets, and all of his little faces and tones- he could identify what the brunette's smiles and laughs meant, and this laugh was something like a cross between overwhelmed and embarrassed by Kakashi's compliment, but the Jonin persisted in his rare displays of affection despite that.

"Seriously," Kakashi continued, letting go of Iruka's hands to rest his on the brunette's warm, soft hips. "I see you all the time, and almost every time I see you, I think about just how beautiful you are. I mean, have you looked at yourself in a mirror recently? Do you see what I see?"

"Thank you, but I think I might explode if you butter me up any more," Iruka sighed, shaking his head and reaching up to take his hair out of his ponytail. It was now the second time Kakashi had seen him with his hair down, and he finally understood why Iruka wore it up all the time- If he wore it like this regularly, he'd have the whole fucking village falling in love with him, assuming that they aren't already. "Though, I'm sure you know I think the same things about you."

"Do you now?"

"Yeah, but let's talk about that another time and get on with this."

"I think I can do that," Kakashi murmured, leaning close to Iruka's ear as he wrapped his arms around the younger man's waist and pulled him in enough for their chests to touch. "Now c'mere..."


	9. Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iruka Umino wakes up the morning after a drunken one night stand with his crush and decides to handle it in one of the worst ways possible because he's an emotionally inarticulate disaster gay. As always, Kakashi Hatake is unreadable.

Hot bodies and fervent lips moved against each other as Kakashi Hatake and Iruka Umino tumbled into the brunette's bed, the silver-haired man landing on top and pressing his lips against Iruka's neck. It was heated and rushed, but considering that Iruka had been in love with this man for years, he couldn't bring himself to care. Sunlight shone through the windows, and though the image of Kakashi's face was blurry, he didn't mind- 

Wait... Why was it so blurry?

Oh. Another dream.

Iruka groaned as he woke up, disappointed that the dream had ended right when it was getting good. He moved to lay on his side, pulling the blanket a little closer as he felt his legs brush against something that was super warm.

Cuddling closer to the warmth- Wait, warmth?

What the hell?

"God, not another dream... Stupid Ka-..." Upon opening his eyes to see the subject of his dream, Iruka cut himself off, blinking. He wasn't alone in his room like he usually was, and putting together the fact that it was Kakashi next to him in the unfamiliar bedroom, he could only assume that they were at the Jonin's apartment- in the Jonin's bed. "K-Kakashi," He greeted, stammering over his words as he took in the appearance of the older man; silver hair a mess, mask nowhere to be seen, tight upper body on display for Iruka to see. He was leaning back against the headboard, still not looking Iruka's way. Instead, both dark eyes were trained on a copy of the first book of Verbatim, which was sitting in his lap as he flicked through the pages. "Good morning! How'd you sleep?"

"Better than usual," Kakashi muttered, closing the book and setting it down on his nightstand. Iruka raised his eyebrows upon seeing that both of their forehead protectors were there as well. "But I have a headache now... Hangover, I guess." He ran a hand through his hair before pushing the blankets off of himself and standing up, revealing that he was only in a pair of loose, black boxers.

Suddenly, the memories started to flood in like water through a broken dam, and Iruka realized that, no, he hadn't just had a wet dream, he'd actually slept with the Kakashi Hatake and that probably spurred the sleep-induced fantasy about it. He knew he'd drank last night, but had he drank that much? The things that had happened were all blurring into each other in his mind.

Iruka sat up, allowing the blankets to pool in his lap, and it was then that he realized he didn't have a single article of clothing on- that, and his hips and thighs were sore. More images rushed through his mind, and though he was physically active considering his career, he supposed it made sense that his body hurt after flashbacks of him riding Kakashi and the older man slamming his hips up to meet his bounces began to take the front spots in his head. 

"What all happened last night?"

"Well, we both drank a little more than we should've, and then we ended up here, and you can probably figure out the rest," Kakashi was at his dresser drawer, digging through it for clothes. "You want breakfast?"

"Sure." 

Initially, when Kakashi had emerged from his drawers with a pair of boxers and the usual clothing that went under their vests (blue pants and a matching long-sleeve shirt), Iruka had assumed that the silver-haired man had grabbed them for himself, but he was proven wrong when Kakashi tossed them on the bed.

"Here, I know you're a little smaller than me," That was true- but not by much. Though Kakashi was about five inches taller, he only weighed ten more pounds, so while their body types were a bit different, they weren't too opposite in terms of size. "But all of this should fit you okay if you want clean clothes because I know that you didn't bring any over. Feel free to use the shower, too, if you'd like. It's in the bathroom down the hall to the left, and towels are in the top cabinet in there, along with washcloths."

As all of his senses came back to him, Iruka bit back a groan and held his head in his hands, able to feel a splitting stress headache coming on. 

Thankfully, Kakashi walked out of the room, so Iruka didn't have to worry about how embarrassing it would be to get out of bed without any clothes on in fear of how embarrassing it would be to have the taller man's eyes on him without any liquid courage in his system. He quickly stood up and exited Kakashi's room with the clothes in hand, making his way to the bathroom and shutting the door behind him before setting the clean outfit down on the bathroom counter.

Letting out a sigh of relief, he looked at himself in the mirror. Thankfully, the only sign of what had happened was the slight limp in his step that he was sure he could correct. Kakashi hadn't left any hickeys or marks and though there were bruises in the shape of the silver-haired man's thumbs on his waist where those pale hands had been, his shirt would cover that up. His hair was down- a complete mess- and he frowned upon seeing all of the scars that littered his skin despite how regular that sight was for him. 

He blinked, snapped out of his self-deprecating daze when something caught his attention.

He could still smell Kakashi on his skin and found himself taking in a deep breath to calm himself down. The Jonin's scent reminded him of rain and ocean water, something that was constant and soothing, but as much as he would've loved to relish in it, he didn't want to make Kakashi wait for him for too long, so he reached into the bathroom cabinet to grab a washcloth, stepped into the shower, and turned the water on.

It quickly heated up, running over his back as he ran a hand through his hair and looked at the little shelf that had all of Kakashi's shower products; a two in one shampoo and conditioner, body wash, shaving cream, a razor, a loofa, and a bar of soap. First, Iruka set his washcloth down on the rim of the tub, then grabbed the shampoo bottle and poured some into his hand, setting it back down and using the liquid to wash his hair. Unable to help himself, he tried to think everything through.

'Oh my God. I slept with Kakashi Hatake! Does that mean my crush is mutual or was it just a one night stand thing for him? I have seen him pick people up, though that's pretty rare... Maybe it's just physical. Guess that'd be better than nothing, right? If it is... Well, I won't bring it up, and I won't mention my feelings, either. Act like everything is normal, Iruka! It'll be fine!'

Filled with determination to not make things weird, Iruka quickly used the washcloth and the body wash to scrub and rid his body of all of the sweat and dirt that it'd built up the night before, and with that, he turned the shower off and stepped out. He got a towel from the cabinet and wrung his washcloth out in the sink before tossing it in the hamper that was in the corner, wrapping the towel around his body and drying himself off. Putting the towel in the hamper as well, he changed into the clothes Kakashi had given him and looked at himself in the mirror again.

The shirt felt loose, but it wasn't visibly noticeable. The pants were long in the legs but tight around the waist and hips, which he supposed made sense- Kakashi was thinner and taller than him, but still, he supposed it worked for today, and he actually rather liked the scent of whatever laundry soap Kakashi used.

He padded out of the bathroom and back to Kakashi's room so he could slip his sandals on and find his headband to wrap around his forehead. He didn't know where his hair tie was, but he figured that it wasn't that big of a deal if he wore his hair down for a day. Finally, he picked his Chunin vest up from where it'd been discarded on the ground the night before and put it on, zipping it up.

Umino was nervous, but he knew that he had to face Kakashi at some point, so he walked out of the Jonin's bedroom and made his way to the kitchen, able to smell whatever it was that the older man had cooked for breakfast.

"You look good with your hair down, you know," Kakashi complimented, still wearing nothing but his boxers. Iruka would've found it weird if it weren't for the fact that A). it was already well established that Kakashi had no shame, and B). they'd fucked and seen each other in considerably more embarrassing positions than in their underwear while plating a couple of omelets. So, he didn't even question it, sitting down at the Jonin's kitchen table and smiling when a delicious looking omelet and a fork were set in front of him with a glass of what he assumed was orange juice. "How are you feeling?"

When Kakashi looked at him, despite his initial attempt at being calm about all of this, Iruka nearly screamed. Kakashi's neck was covered in hickeys and bites, bruises littered his hips and arms, and there were viciously red scratch marks up and down his back that Iruka knew were left by his nails.

...Had he been that rough?

"Good, I think my headache's gone, though I don't know about yours," Iruka watched as Kakashi sat down in front of him with his own food and a drink, both of them starting to eat. 

"You know, I never took you as a cook."

"I'm not, but you're here, so of course I'm going to make breakfast for you," Iruka blushed at that, focusing on finishing his omelet- which was very nice, with ham and vegetables- and downing his orange juice to hide his embarrassment at the entire situation. This felt so... Domestic. Like all of the things that he'd ever dreamed of having with Kakashi. "Not too many places are open this early anyways."

"Oh, right, it is early..." Iruka looked out the window to see that the sun was only just now rising all the way, painting the sky orange, yellow, pink, and blue. Suddenly, he felt his stomach drop, the feeling that he'd forgotten something important plaguing his mind despite him being unable to identify whatever that thing was. "I feel like I'm forgetting something for whatever reason- not the events that happened last night, but like... Something I'm supposed to do."

He stared up at Kakashi, taking in the sight of the older man's face without his mask; pale, with dark eyes and high cheekbones, kissable lips, and a small beauty mark on the left side of his face on his chin. It was weird to see, but nice, and Iruka couldn't help but think that he could easily get used to having more mornings like this.

"Wait..." Kakashi trailed off, seeming like he was mulling it over as well before he sat up all the way and raised his eyebrows. "Don't you have work? Like, at the academy?"

"Hu-" Iruka stopped, eyes widening in realization. He was a teacher. He was going to be late if he didn't hurry up and leave. "Oh. Oh, fuck me!"

"...I already did that," Kakashi mused, a shit-eating grin on his face as Iruka rushed to stand up.

"As much as I appreciate your input, that's not what I meant. I've gotta go!" He waved, not even giving the older man time to respond before darting into the living room and out the front door. "Bye, Kakashi!"

With that, he ran down the stairs of Kakashi's apartment complex and began to run through the streets, careful not to bump into anyone as he traveled through Konoha. On the bright side, at least, Kakashi's house was decently close to The Ninja Academy...

The brunette only stopped when he heard someone call his name, nearly tripping over himself as he came face to face with no other than Might Guy.

"Iruka, are you alright? You look like an exhausted mess!" Iruka deadpanned at that, taking in a deep breath. "Where's that youthful energy at?"

'Up your ass, Guy,' he thought, suppressing the irritated frown that threatened to take over his face.

"Haha, you're real funny, Guy!" He gave a fake laugh- Sure, he liked Guy, but he was stressed, tired, and late, and wasn't exactly in the mood to run five hundred laps around Konoha or listen to some inspirational speech about the power of youth. "I'm just a bit tired. Have a nice day!"

"Oh, you too!"

With that, Iruka left, work being the first thing on his mind. He could worry about Kakashi later.


	10. Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprisingly enough, the relationship between Iruka Umino and Kakashi Hatake returns back to normal after some time passes. Iruka, who is confused about everything that's happening, decides to confide in Anko Mitarashi.

It had been a couple of months since then, and oddly enough, them having sex hadn't changed much. Their relationship had returned to normal, and the encounter had never been brought up again. Though Iruka had been trying to act as he had before every single time he ran into the older man, he found that he was genuinely confused about everything that had happened and wanted someone to talk to.

So, he'd invited Anko Mitarashi over to his apartment. The older woman was his best friend and confidant like he was hers, and she had recently told him about her new relationship with her long term crush, Shizune Kato. If Anko was successful in her relationship, maybe Iruka could be, too.

The two ninjas were sitting at Iruka's tea table, both with a cup of Oolong in their hands. Anko stared at him, appearing to be both confused and impatient- probably because he'd invited her over with the reason of wanting to talk about a personal problem, but hadn't said anything yet, only serving her tea and sitting down with her.

"I think I'm dying inside..." He finally mumbled, staring down into his cup and watching as steam continued to rise from the orange-ish liquid.

"What, did Kakashi find out that you're the author of the book he loves oh so much?" She teased, letting out a small laugh. Iruka could only shake his head- that would actually be much more horrific than what was actually going on, so thankfully, that hadn't happened, but he still considered his current situation pretty dire.

"No," Iruka started, letting out a small sigh as he set his cup down on the table and held his hands in his lap, nervously fiddling with his fingers as he averted his gaze. "But we kinda, maybe, sorta, probably, definitely fucked."

Anko, who had been taking a drink from her tea, nearly spat it out as her eyes shot open, but managed to swallow before setting her cup down as well. "...Repeat that?"

"Don't make me say it again..." He mumbled, holding his head in his hands, embarrassed.

"So that's why you both magically disappeared when we were all at the bar a couple months back?" Iruka's face burned red at the fact that she knew the exact incident he was referring to, and he looked up, meeting her smug, brown eyes. "Guy wanted to challenge Kakashi to beer pong and was very disappointed when Kakashi was gone. You were his second choice, but you, too, were gone! No one really connected it to you guys leaving together- I briefly thought about it, but, like... I didn't think you actually had the balls to make a move on him! What happened!?"

"Years of pent up tension and alcohol happened," Iruka confessed, nervously running a hand through his ponytail. "I don't remember much- we touched a bit in the bar while everyone wasn't looking, I got bold and told him to meet me outside of the bar, and we both went to his apartment and had sex, then he... Well, I slept there, and he held me until I fell asleep. I think that was the first good sleep I've gotten in years."

"Cool," Anko brushed off the more intimate parts of what he'd said, merely placing her hands on the wooden table and leaning forward in interest with a suggestive smirk and a raise of her eyebrows. "But how was the sex?"

"Anko!"

"What? The few people he's hooked up with that's in the village are civilians I don't know, and literally everyone's curious as to what he's like in bed! It's like the mystery of his face! Speaking of that, did you see his face? Is he actually hot under the mask, or is he using it to hide something?"

"Slow down," Iruka laughed, watching as Anko shrugged and slammed the rest of her tea. He was embarrassed to be divulging these personal details, but Anko was his best friend, and it was better of her to ask him than it was for her to ask Kakashi considering the fact that she'd already been suspicious of them having slept together. "First off, the sex was great from what I recall, but I don't remember exactly everything we said to each other during it, and a lot of it is blurry. I actually yanked his mask down and kissed him outside of the bar, ended up ripping it all the way off when we got to his apartment, so yeah, I saw his face, and he's not just hot under the mask, he's hotter under the mask. There's a few problems, though, and I'm really stressed out about this, so do you think I could get some advice?"

"...Hm, sure," The seriousness of the situation seemed to calm her down, and thankfully, her teasing of him and invasive questions quickly stopped. "What's up?"

"So, the morning after... I woke up from a wet dream about him, which was embarrassing enough even though I don't even think he noticed, and that dream has kind of been blurring with my memories of what happened when we slept together, and I do know that I slept with him, but all the details of the actual encounter and my dream are blending into each other, and there were things that were said... Well, I have this really nice memory of him calling me gorgeous and just showering me in praise, but that's so not Kakashi and I don't know if that actually happened or if that was just part of the dream."

"Wait, so what all happened the morning after?" Anko asked, causing Iruka to remember that he had been talking about that before he'd gone off into his ramble about his blurred memories of what all had been said. "What'd he say?"

"He was super casual about it- I woke up and he was already awake, reading Verbatim. He gave me some clothes and let me use his shower, made me breakfast, and acted like everything was normal... I had work, so I ended up leaving pretty soon, and we didn't get to talk much, so I think he just sees it as a physical thing? Like, a one night stand? Things have basically went back to normal since then, and he doesn't treat me any differently than he did before, so... Yeah."

"Well, if you want my honest opinion and advice..." Anko muttered, staring up at the ceiling in thought as she tapped her fingers against the tabletop. "That guy's never been able to emote very well. I mean, his best friend died and he accidentally killed the other one, and no one really saw him feel anything over it- same with his dad, too, I think!" Iruka winced at the mention of Kakashi's dark past, but he knew it was true. No matter what happened to him- good or bad- he always acted nonchalantly, or at the most, inconvenienced or slightly enthused, dependent on what the circumstance was. If Kakashi could brush off literal deaths like that, any feelings that he might have had for Iruka were probably child's play to hide in comparison to all of the tragedies he'd faced. "It sounds crazy, but I know that there are people who cope with feelings they don't want to have by growing colder and becoming more withdrawn, so if he does have romantic feelings for you, he's either purposefully hiding them or doesn't know how to express them properly. Then again, I don't know what his feelings for you are."

"I'm not sure either. I guess he's at least attracted to me on a physical level, but romantically?" Iruka almost laughed at the thought of a romantic Kakashi- something he'd never seen before. "I mean, even me liking him is crazy! We aren't that close, all our interactions are pretty weird, and he doesn't seem like much of a romantic- hell, the only reason I know he's not completely void of wanting that kind of thing is because of the books he reads! I really wish I were closer to him..." He sighed, laying his arms down on the table and resting his head on them.

"If you're expecting this to go well, there's two or three good moves you could make right now. You could get to know him more like a normal person and see where it goes from there, be upfront about your feelings and ask where his head's at in light of your little rendevous, or tell him about your book so you two can have more common ground to bond over- maybe leave out the fact that you wrote it for him, though, cuz that's a little weird! Romantic, but weird nonetheless."

"I know, I know!" Iruka laughed, both amused by Anko and worried about what he would do next. "But... God, all of that sounds risky. Okay. Maybe talking to him a bit more wouldn't be so bad." Sighing, he sat up. "Thanks for letting me clear my head, Anko."

"Anytime!" Anko smiled, but then stood up, looking a bit apologetic. "I've gotta leave, though, I've got a date with Shizune. See you later?"

"Yeah, see you later!" Iruka grinned, waving. Even if this whole Kakashi thing didn't work out, he was happy that Anko had found someone. "Have fun on your date."

"I will."


	11. Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi Hatake is perplexed by the relationship between him and Iruka Umino but subconsciously decides to distract himself with finding the author of Verbatim. Unsurprisingly, he goes a little too far and finds out a little too much.

Kakashi Hatake was a bit bothered as he walked by the side of his best friend, Might Guy. Their friendship was peculiar, but it managed to work, even if Kakashi wasn't always the most open about how much Guy's companionship really meant to him. He'd simply ran into the other Jonin while on a stroll through the village, and unsurprisingly, the ravenette had insisted on walking with him. 

Guy being Guy was rambling on about this new workout plan he'd started recently, Kakashi half-listening as he stared down at his book. He was rereading the entire Verbatim series, so he had the first book in his hands, eyes running over every little word. 

For whatever reason, the book had been bothering him. Maybe he was trying to distract himself from what had happened with Iruka a few months before, or maybe he was just fixating on it to cope with the million other issues he'd tried so hard to repress over the years. At this point, he figured it was rather unhealthy, but there was only one aspect of the entire situation that was really bothering him...

Who was the author? The fourth book was bound to come out in the next few months, and he still had no idea who it was despite the book having become so prolific within the adult fiction community in the village.

"Guy, you're smart," Kakashi started, effectively cutting off the other man's prolix speech, but only earning a smile and raised eyebrows from the slightly shorter man.

"Oh? Are you about to challenge me?" Guy questioned, seeming excited as he crossed his arms.

"No, I was just about to ask something," Kakashi sighed, closing the book and slipping it into his back pocket before scratching his clothed neck. Guy had been a fan of the series for a good amount of time, too, and for as obnoxious and dumb as so many people perceived him to be, he was actually quite intelligent, so him having answers to Kakashi's questions didn't seem like it was too ridiculous of a possibility. "For whatever reason, Verbatim has been on my mind recently. Not just the fact that I like it- that part's obvious- but the author, I mean... I've just had this weird feeling of me having to find out who it is, and I don't know if it's just curiosity or something else, but... Do you have any idea? I know you've been reading it, too."

"I'm afraid I don't!" Guy answered, looking up at the sky. "I mean, we could narrow it down, of course! Thinking about it logically, they're probably at least a Chunin based off of their extensive knowledge of ninja laws and Jutsu. In fact, this may be bold, but I'd say they are a Chunin! All of the missions that are described in the book seem to be around B-ranks, no?"

"Yes, that is true..." Kakashi thought about the plot of the book, a lot of which surrounded around Kujira and Shirogane's work as ninjas in a village that was clearly based on the Leaf Village. In terms of missions that were described throughout the plot of the three published books, none of them had ever been anything especially serious in comparison to what Kakashi usually had to deal with as a Jonin. Instead, these were mostly escorting or doing odd jobs for people, maybe even acting as bodyguards for low-profile travelers- At most, a couple of them were A-ranking, but even that was a stretch. "That'd make sense. What Chunin do we know who would write something like that, though?"

Right when Kakashi started to run through the list of all of the Chunin they knew, he saw more black hair and another green jumpsuit in the form of a blur that was approaching them at a rapid pace- AKA, the excitable pride and joy of Might Guy, his star student, Rock Lee. The younger ravenette was practically buzzing with enthusiasm as he moved to stand in front of them, staring up at Guy.

"Oh, Lee! Hello!"

"Sensei! Race me to the Hokage Rock!"

"It seems we'll have to continue this later, my eternal rival!" Guy turned to him, giving a wave before he and Lee were off, already almost out of Kakashi's sight in a mere second. 

"Goodbye!"

Kakashi didn't even speak, just standing there, dumbfounded until he returned to his initial train of thought.   
The Chunin they knew.

Kotetsu and Izumo popped into his head, and inevitably...

Iruka.

He sighed at the thought of the brunette, unsure of exactly what to think about the younger man. They'd slept together a few months before- whether it be due to strictly the alcohol, Kakashi's pent up feelings, or something else, he wasn't sure. He'd wanted to talk about it the morning after, but Iruka had work, and they never got the chance to have an actual discussion about the encounter. So, really, he had no idea... Maybe Iruka had just intended for it to be a one night stand, but after a good ten years of them knowing each other? Why hadn't be made the move earlier?

He and Iruka hadn't hung out much before that had happened, but now, it seemed like he was seeing the Chunin less and less. Was Iruka avoiding him? He supposed it would be reasonable- Maybe Iruka saw it as a drunken mistake, or maybe he thought that the things Kakashi had said to him during the act were far too intimate, but... When they saw each other, Iruka acted as friendly as usual, and he was pretty upfront, so if something was wrong, wouldn't it have been brought up by now?

Shaking his head, his mind went back to Verbatim, and he realized that his and Guy's walk had actually led him to the local bookstore. He raised his eyebrows upon seeing the box that had been left out front, knowing exactly what it was.

Due to Verbatim's increasing popularity, it had sold a lot of books, so more of them had to be shipped and stocked regularly, as Kakashi had seen that morning. Since he was a regular, he was quite friendly with all of the workers, and the teen boy who had been stocking the books had told him all about it. The box sitting on the ground in front of the store looked a little sad all by itself, but Kakashi found his eyes widening when he realized that there was a label on the lid.

Verbatim books One, Two, and Three for stock in handwriting that looked oddly familiar.

He approached the box, looking down at it curiously. If he wanted to find out who the author was, then...

With a sigh, he quickly summoned one of his Ninken; a terrier by the name of Guruko who, like the rest of his dogs, had a phenomenal sense of smell. Upon being summoned, Guruko stood in front of Kakashi, tail wagging.

"Guruko, could you do me a favor and track where this box came from?" Kakashi asked, pointing at the box. The terrier gave him a quick nod before approaching the box and sniffing all around it, then began to walk in the opposite direction.

Kakashi followed, unable to help but think that this route seemed familiar. For whatever reason, he hadn't been able to figure out where they'd been heading until the building was within his sight.

Guruko led him to a place that he'd been thinking about for the past few weeks.

Iruka's apartment. 

When they reached the building, Kakashi could only stand there aimlessly.

"Kakashi, hello!" To his surprise, no other than Iruka Umino was briskly climbing down the stairs, a small clank echoing around them with every collision of the brunette's sandal-covered feet and the metal material. Finally, he got down to the concrete, walking towards Kakashi with a grin. He must've been in a good mood, and Kakashi tried to act like he was, too, despite the confusion that was currently clouding his mind. "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing much, just taking Guruko for a walk," He lied, trying to act casual as he pushed his hands into his pocket and changed the subject. "Where are you headed?"

"Just to the academy, I forgot some papers that I have to grade," Iruka spoke and gave an apologetic smile, and then a wave. One of these days, Kakashi thought that the Chunin's smile would kill him. "So I've gotta go and get them. Have a good evening, Kakashi."

"You, too..." Once Iruka was out of earshot, Kakashi looked down at his ninken with confusion on his mask-covered face. Guruko looked confident as always as he pointed at Iruka's apartment, but... Kakashi wasn't sure. Was it really someone in there? Could it have been Iruka? "Are you sure this is the right place, Guruko?" Almost as if to say stop being in denial, I know what I'm talking about, Guruko scoldingly pawed at the Jonin's clothed leg and whined. "Right, right, I trust you, but... Huh." He blinked, turning and walking away from the apartment with the terrier following behind him. 

What a coincidence...


	12. Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi Hatake is relatively confused due to recent events. Over the past few days, he's started to believe that the author of Verbatim might very well be Iruka Umino, and the new revelation is taking him for a spin. Fortunately, Might Guy is willing to listen to his woes.

A few days passed, and Kakashi Hatake was antsy about the entire situation with Iruka Umino. Either his ninken had been wrong about where the box had come from, or it was just someone who lived in the same apartment as Iruka who had written the book... Right. 

After all, if Iruka had written Verbatim, why wouldn't he have mentioned that it was him?

Kakashi sat at Ichiraku, no other than Might Guy by his side. The ravenette had dragged him along, but honestly? It was nice to feel valued, nice to be seen as a friend instead of friend-killer Kakashi.

So, he tried to enjoy the company despite the fact that he was still conflicted over Iruka, but regardless of his efforts, Guy seemed to easily pick up on his change in mood.

"My eternal rival!" The other Jonin paused, looking over at Kakashi. He had been eating his ramen- something they'd usually make a contest out of- but he stopped just to address the silver-haired man's (apparently) evident sulking. "You look upset! What's wrong? Is there anything I can do?"

"I'm not sure if you can actually do anything about it, but..." Kakashi trailed off, staring into his own bowl of ramen, which he hadn't touched. Due to how confused and stressed he'd been over the past couple days, his eating schedule- not that he really had a healthy one in the first place- had been thrown off. "I am having a slight issue."

"And what would that be?"

"This is gonna sound super weird," Kakashi had thought back on the incident since it had happened, and it was admittedly creepy. Like, tracking a box back to someone's house to find the author of his favorite book? That was downright stalkerish- not that he'd really thought about it in depth like that at the time. Now that he was beginning to tell Guy about it, he felt terribly embarrassed. "But the other day after you and Lee left, I noticed that the box that Verbatim was dropped off in at the bookstore was sitting out front, so I may or may not have had one of my ninken track the scent of the box to where it originally came from."

"A little weird, but I admire your youthful determination!" Guy, ever the positive, complimented him. Kakashi could only sigh. "So, where'd your ninken go?"

"Iruka's apartment complex." He deadpanned, which earned him a confused glance from Guy. He was pretty sure that, if Ichiraku was a building with a roof above them instead of a cabana, the ravenette's eyebrows would have shot through it.

"Oh! Do you think it could be Iruka?"

"Iruka? No, he's too innoce-" Kakashi quickly cut himself off, remembering him and Iruka's hook up just months before. Images of the brunette riding him dry and leaving marks on his body that lasted for a good week afterward flashed through his head, reminding him of the fact that Iruka wasn't as demure as he'd initially suspected. "Well, no, I guess he's not all that innocent in that sense..."

"What makes you say that?"

"I'm not sure if I can trust you to keep this secret..." Kakashi hadn't told anyone about what had happened between him and Iruka, or even about his feelings towards Iruka in general, so this would be a big step.

"I can! Why it would be totally unyouthful for me to spill a secret that was trusted to me by my best friend!" If it were anyone else saying that, Kakashi would've taken it as sarcasm, but considering that it was Guy, he'd learned to take the ravenette's somewhat humorous way of speech seriously. "I could never!"

"Right..."

"So, what's going on?"

In between his question and Kakashi's next words, Guy took a moment to finish off the ramen he'd been working his way through before (not) subtly pulling some cash out of his wallet to pay the tab for both him and Kakashi- something he did every time despite Kakashi's objections.

"I'm in love with Iruka," Kakashi confessed, looking up to see that Ayame and Teuchi were listening intently. Suddenly, he wondered how much gossip they had heard over the years, but he didn't mind it much since he knew that both of them wouldn't go spilling his secrets- after all, they'd seen his face numerous times when he ate there, and they'd never talked about it to anyone else. "Have been for a few years. We both got a bit tipsy at the bar a few months back and hooked up. Things have went back to normal since then in terms of our relationship and neither of us has brought it up, and even though Iruka doesn't seem like the person to casually hook up with his friends- acquaintances, coworkers, whatever me and him are at this point- I'm thinking that it was just casual for him, and... I'm just so confused about what to do."

"I see..." The bright smile that Guy had been wearing seconds before fell, replaced by an expression that made it clear that he was in serious thought. "You know, that does remind me, now that we're here. It was a long time ago, so I'm not sure if you remember, but it was the last time we went for ramen. Iruka was there, no?"

"Yeah, he was sitting at the end stool," Kakashi nodded, able to remember that day rather clearly despite the fact that it had been nearly a year since then. Iruka had been sitting at the far end of Ichiraku, away from him and Guy, seemingly pouring over a binder or a notebook- Kakashi couldn't remember- probably a lesson plan. Though Kakashi had expected at least a greeting, Iruka hadn't said anything, only sparing Guy and Kakashi the occasional glance. He'd left while the two rivals were in the middle of a ramen-eating contest. "But it looked like he was busy, so I didn't want to bother him. I was a bit surprised that he didn't say hi to either of us."

"So, you're in love with Iruka!"

"Yes..." Kakashi answered, wondering what that had to with the last time they'd seen the brunette at Ichiraku until he remembered what him and Guy had been talking about in Iruka's presence that day; his lack of reading material due to Jiraiya's hiatus, which just so happened to be quickly remedied by the publishing of Verbatim a few months after.

"And you think he may have written Verbatim!"

"Also yes."

"And you remember the conversation we had at the ramen stand that day?" Apparently, Guy was on the same page as him.

"Right... We were talking about how I couldn't find any new books, and he- he overheard it. He must've at least heard bits and pieces, and he's a Chunin."

"Plus, if you think about it, the two main characters are a lot like you and Iruka!"

"Ah, I thought I was the only one who saw it like that..." Kakashi let out a deep breath, thinking back to the two characters, Kujira and Shirogane, who bared a striking resemblance to him and Iruka. Initially, he thought that he'd been so lovestruck that he was simply inserting himself and Iruka into the story as some sort of weird self-comfort, but if Guy thought the resemblance was there, too? "Well, damn."

"You can't be a hundred percent sure, but I think there's a good chance that he's the author! Maybe he overheard your issue and decided to help you out?" Kakashi blushed at the thought but huffed when Guy quickly played off the suggestion. "Nah, I'm kidding, that's a little much! But still, you should just ask. Iruka's always been a pretty honest person."

"That's true. Thanks for the advice, Guy."

"Any time!"

Kakashi sat there, staring down into his ramen as he considered all of the possibilities.

He'd have to meet up with Iruka soon.


	13. Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iruka Umino is in the best mood he's been in a while due to the euphoric relief that comes with finishing a book. Alas, Lady Luck has never acted in his favor, and he happens to run into Kakashi Hatake during the worst possible time.

Iruka Umino was smiling as he walked through the nearly empty streets of Konoha, staring up at the sky. He had just finished the fourth book of Verbatim to take to Anko for her to read. This was the final copy, so he just needed to make sure that it looked good overall before he sent it to the bookstore to have sold.

It was early, the sun only just now beginning to rise, hence why not a lot of people were out yet. The sky was mostly blue with some intense oranges and reds peeking over the horizon. The brunette turned the corner, Verbatim: Book Four in his hands as he hummed into himself.

That was until he heard the voice of no other than Kakashi Hatake, who'd (apparently) been about to walk past him.

"Good morning, Iruka."

Jump-scared by the only other person on the street he was currently on, Iruka accidentally dropped the book, immediately panicking.

"Oh, Kakashi! Good morning-"

Here I am, almost wishing that I would've let Konohamaru set me on fire with that Justu he pulled the other day... Slaughter me.

Suddenly, everything he'd done in an attempt to keep this a secret over the past year felt useless- the pen name, the anonymity, his attempts at blending in with all of his friends and coworkers who had read his book and didn't know who the author was, his skirting around the subject when someone brought up the identity of Risso or what the possibilities could be. Before he could rush to pick the book up, Kakashi did it instead.

Iruka was so nervous that he was biting the inside of his lip to the point where it drew a bit of blood.

Kakashi held the book out for Iruka to take, and the brunette let out a sigh of relief. With his luck, though, that feeling didn't last very long. "Here's your book b- Oh," Right when Iruka thought that he might've been able to get out of this scott-free, Kakashi withdrew his hand, looking down at Verbatim: Book Four with an unreadable expression- probably because, as usual, he had his mask on. "My my, is this a book of the Verbatim series?" Kakashi questioned, tone smug. Iruka wasn't sure if the silver-haired man had figured out his secret or if he'd just been teasing Iruka for owning a book with so much adult content in it, but honestly? Iruka was just praying that the usually perceptive Jonin wouldn't notice that this was the fourth book- AKA the one that hadn't even been published yet.

"Um, no?" Iruka lied through his teeth, trying to reach for the book, though Kakashi only held it above his head and stared at the cover with an incredulous look in his one revealed eye.

"Wait a minute..." The silver-haired man's visible eyebrow furrowed, and Iruka genuinely wanted to drop off the face of the earth like a dead fly off a window. Was Kakashi figuring it out?

Not wanting to risk it, Iruka reached for the book, more aggressively this time, only to end up stumbling over his feet and tripping. Just as luck would have it, he landed against Kakashi's chest, the older man wrapping an arm around his waist to catch him and keep him upright.

"Kakashi! Give it back!" Iruka protested, reaching for the book, which Kakashi still held out of his reach.

"This book hasn't even been published yet," He must've noticed the 'Book Four' on the spine, and suddenly, Iruka was cursing himself for not just giving each book of the series a different title instead of labeling them Verbatim, books one through four. "How'd you get ahold of it, Iruka?"

"How do you know it hasn't been published yet?" Iruka mumbled, pulling away from Kakashi's hold. Despite his embarrassment at the current situation, he found himself missing the feeling of his chest pressed up against Kakashi's, the ghost of the taller man's strong arm around his waist and pale hand resting on his lower back sending chills down his body. Maybe, if he got really lucky, he could pull off some lie about having early access or seeing a copy at the bookstore that morning. "I mean, I managed to-"

"I go to the bookstore where it's sold every morning, and I've been hearing rumors that the new installation won't be published and for sale for another month," Seeming like he already had it figured out, Kakashi sighed and gave Iruka the book back. Mortified, Iruka shoved the book into his back pocket and stood there, fidgeting. "And recently, I've had some suspicions about you in relation to this series, y'know. Now that I'm thinking about it, the penname... Risso... Like Risso's dolphins. Dolphin. Like Iruka. You are the author, aren't you?"

"I guess there's no point in lying to you," Iruka sighed, looking down at the ground. "Yes, that's my book series. I've been writing it for a while now. I was about to take it to Anko- she's my only beta reader."

"I could be your beta reader," Kakashi suggested, leaning uncomfortably close. Iruka's breath caught in his throat at the same time his heart began to beat so loud that he could feel it reverberate through his entire body. Their noses were almost touching, and he couldn't help but allow his eyes to meet Kakashi's.

"I might consider that, but, um..." Iruka couldn't even find the words, only taking a step back, brown eyes landing on the ground and staring at the dirt road beneath his feet like it was the most interesting thing.

"So, why'd you hide it, Iruka?" Kakashi questioned, crossing his arms and tilting his head.

"I mean, it's porn," Iruka laughed, finding it hard to say. There were numerous reasons that he was embarrassed by the fact that he wrote it- the original intent and purpose, the fact that he was a teacher, the fact that it had smut in it... "Kinda embarrassing, no?"

"Not with as talented as you are. I mean, your book is really... Phenomenal. It's quite possibly the best series I've ever read."

"You're flattering me, Kakashi..."

"No, seriously, I mean it," Without warning, Kakashi took one of his hands, gently pressing a kiss against his worn knuckles. Iruka blushed at the intimate and oddly romantic gesture, relishing in the feeling of the silver-haired man's chapped lips against his skin and cold hand holding his warmer one. "You're really talented."

"Thank you, but..." Iruka had to suppress a frown when Kakashi let go of his hand, and part of him wondered just how long he'd be able to feel the press of Kakashi's lips on his skin. He'd probably be thinking about it for the rest of the day, as much as he hated to admit it. "Please don't tell anyone about this?"

"Sure. Your secret's safe with me," Kakashi smiled under his mask, pushing his hands back into his pockets. "I'll see you around, Iruka."

"Yeah..." Iruka gave a smile as well, looking off to the side and letting out a sigh of relief. "See you around, Kakashi."


	14. Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unsure of how to handle Kakashi Hatake finding out about Verbatim, Iruka Umino shares the issue with Anko Mitarashi. As always, his best friend gives good advice that he's reluctant to listen to.

Iruka Umino sighed as he paced around the living room of his best friend, Anko Mitarashi. Instead of heading to Anko's like he'd been planning to after having Kakashi discover that it was him who had been writing Verbatim, he'd gone home to wallow in his own embarrassment and shame. He'd let a couple of days pass before actually going to Anko's so she could read the final draft of the fourth book, and he was glad that he hadn't seen Kakashi again in that short span of time.

He hadn't told anyone about what had happened, and it seemed like Kakashi hadn't either, considering that he hadn't heard anything about it. Of course, that made sense. Kakashi wasn't one to commit such malfeasance against him.

Anko was laying on her plush, comfortable couch, feet propped up on one of the arms as she read. Without much warning, she closed the book, a small snap from the collision of hardcover and paper resonating through the room. She looked up at Iruka, who had quickly stopped pacing at the noise. He stood there for a moment. He was silent, staring at her curiously until she pointed at him and spoke.

"So, what's wrong? You're pacing again!" 

Ah. The pacing had always been a nervous habit of his- something he did when he was upset or confused about something, which he definitely was when it came to this entire situation.

"I think I'm dead inside," He muttered, walking over to the couch. Anko lifted her legs for him to sit, immediately placing them on his lap when he sunk into the soft cushion and leaned against the back.

"What'd you do to embarrass yourself in front of him this time?" She seemed to already know that this was about Kakashi (yet again), causing him to shake his head and laugh in both amusement and shame. "Y'all hook up again?"

"I was walking past him with a copy of the new book to take to you the other day and I dropped it like an idiot. He picked it up for me, and everything seemed like it clicked at once- like, he called me out for having the unpublished book, then connected the penname to me..." He explained the situation as Anko set the book down in her lap, shaking her head as well.

"You could've tried to lie your way out of that!" She scolded, giving him a playfully chastising expression. "How on earth are you a ninja if you can't even lie correctly? You could've easily said something like 'oh, my friend's the author and I'm just a beta reader, and I gave them the penname,', no?"

While it was true that she had a point, Iruka had been so panicked at the time that he hadn't even been able to come up with a good lie to tell. On top of that, as easy as the thought of lying to Kakashi was to conjure, using that kind of subterfuge against the person he was in love with wasn't exactly easy. Through the course of his books being published, he'd tried to avoid the subject because lying to Kakashi was hard. Of course, he'd ended up failing in keeping his anonymity up around the older man in the end, but still...

"I can't lie to Kakashi like that," He started, debating on spilling just how guilty it would make him feel before opting to talk about how perceptive Kakashi was instead. "He isn't stupid- he'd pick up on it instantly."

"Fair point." Anko moved her legs off of his lap and sat up.

"I don't know what I'm gonna do, Anko."

"Talk to him and be honest about it?" She suggested in a sarcastic tone, as if it were easy. "That's a good idea."

"That's hard, though!" Iruka exclaimed, looking off to the side and running a hand through his ponytail as a frustrated off escaped from in between his lips. "He's totally gonna think I'm weird. Then again, he is reading it."

"See? I don't know why you don't just tell him about your feelings."

"Because he probably doesn't return them." Iruka frowned, not even thinking about it as he stood and began to pace around the room again.

"Y'all fucked," She reminded him, blunt as always, holding a finger up in objection to his previous statement.

"That doesn't mean he likes me, and even if he does, whatever feelings he does have for me might not really much my..." Iruka sighed as he tried to come up with the right words. While the brunette was intense and committed when it came to love, he didn't get the same impression from Kakashi. No, the silver-haired man was much more casual than Iruka was, and despite the fact that they'd slept together and the occasional suggestive action or comment, he doubted that Kakashi was as invested in him as he was invested in Kakashi. "Er, intensity, per se."

"True. You've been obsessed with him for what, ten years?"  
"More like nine," Iruka mumbled, embarrassed to even admit that as he crossed his arms, continuing to pace. Anko's eyes remained on him.

"Next year, I'll have it right! Anyways, why don't you try gifts or something? You've probably been paying attention long enough to know what he likes."

"I have," Kakashi liked books, miso soup, saury, his work, and so on... Occasionally, Iruka would see the Jonin walk into Yamanaka Flowers with Asuma by his side, and on very rare occasions, Iruka thought that he'd seen the older man staring at the flowers on display in the windows with a somewhat longing look. "That's not a bad idea..."

"Well? Don't wait around here!" Anko yelled, waving in a rather shooing manner. "Go buy the guy something! I'll bring you the book tomorrow when I'm finished."

"Okay, okay, fine!" Iruka acquiesced, heading towards the front door. "Bye, Anko!"

"Bye, dork!"

"God..." When he left his best friend's house, shutting the door behind him and walking out onto the streets of Konoha, he sighed. "Yamanaka Flowers, here I come."  
Was it dumb to be buying Kakashi flowers? Definitely. Was he going to do it anyway? Also definitely.

As he walked to Yamanaka Flowers, he debated over it in his head. Quite frankly, he didn't know what else to do at this point, but the thought of giving Kakashi flowers face to face made him wince, so he decided he'd probably just drop them off at the older man's doorstep or something.

Upon reaching the store and walking in, he was a bit surprised to see that it was empty, the only other person inside being his former student, Ino Yamanaka, who was at the register.

"Iruka-Sensei!" Upon seeing him, Ino immediately stepped out from behind the register and walked up to greet him, a bright smile on her face. "It's been so long since I've seen you, but... What are you doing here?"

"Well, um..." Iruka trailed off, a heavy blush on his face. "I need to buy flowers for someone I know."

"Duh," The blonde laughed, flicking her ponytail over her shoulder. The sound of her voice made Iruka feel nostalgic, and suddenly, he wondered how the rest of her class was doing- especially Naruto. "But who are they for?"

"...Kakashi."  
"Oh, I knew it!" She cheered, a little more excited than she probably should've been as she looked around the store, already putting together what she would be selling him.

"Do you know what he likes?" Iruka asked, hoping that Ino might know- she'd always been good at paying attention to detail.

"Well, him and Asuma-Sensei come in here all the time. Asuma-Sensei usually gets roses for Kurenai, but Kakashi-Sensei never buys anything, so I've always just assumed that he was tagging along. But, I do always see him staring at the blue cosmos!" Ino walked over to the small refrigerated section where there were a few pre-made bouquets, pulling out what he assumed were blue cosmos- not that he knew for sure, as he was never really one for flowers. "Would you like a bouquet?"

"Yes, please." Ino walked back behind the register with the bouquet, writing something down on a notepad as Iruka moved to stand in front of the counter and dig through his pockets for cash. "How much will it be?"

"Oh, it's on me. Naruto owes me fifty dollars when he gets back from training anyways thanks to you and Kakashi-Sensei."

"Wait, what?" Iruka asked, eyebrows furrowing together in confusion. "What does Naruto owe you money for, and what do me and Kakashi have to do with it?"

"We made a bet about whether or not you and Kakashi-Sensei had a thing for each other. He said no and- well, I said yes! So, thank you for the fifty dollars, and here's your flowers," Persistent as always despite the fact that he'd wanted to pay for them, Ino pushed the bouquet into his hands before giving him a small goodbye and walking into the backroom. "Good luck, Iruka-Sensei!"

"Thank you, Ino. Have a nice day."

"You, too!"

With that, he exited the shop, holding the bouquet in one hand. He'd leave them on Kakashi's doorstep and escape unnoticed, he hoped...

"God, I'm so in over my head... Would he even like these? Guess I won't find out anyway since I'm not leaving my name on them. Oh well."


	15. Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi Hatake is delighted to find flowers on his doorstep- especially when he uses his ninken to track them back to no other than Iruka Umino. Both somewhat amused and relieved, Kakashi stops by the brunette's apartment and embarrasses him in a rather shameless manner, realizing that he's falling more and more in love with every interaction they have.

Kakashi Hatake chuckled as he sat in the windowsill of no other than his crush, Iruka Umino. The week before, he'd come home to a bouquet of his favorite flowers sitting on his doorstep without so much as a note or even a name on them.

Of course, whoever had left them seemed to have forgotten that he had eight ninken that he could use to track where the flowers had come from.

The mere thought of Iruka Umino buying him flowers and leaving them on his doorstep made him happier than he wanted to admit. After both the one night stand they'd had and the revelation that Iruka was the writer of the series Verbatim, he expected Iruka to be straight up avoiding him, but apparently, the brunette was leaving him flowers.

Though he'd been sitting in the windowsill for a good two minutes, Iruka, who seemed to be sorting through some papers, hadn't noticed him. The Chunin was wearing a pair of loose sweatpants, his hair down- uncharacteristically bare as he sat on the end of his bed.

Deciding to make his presence known, Kakashi spoke up, gently knocking on Iruka's wall. "Good evening, Iruka."

"Kakashi!" Iruka jumped, dropping the papers that were in his hands. Upon recovering from the initial shock, he approached the silver-haired man, jabbing a finger into his chest and scolding him. "You've gotta learn to knock- like, on doors. You scared the hell outta me."

"Well, you aren't covering up like last time," Kakashi tilted his head as he got out of the windowsill and stood in Iruka's room, staring down at his shirtless form. The brunette, who hadn't seemed to fully realize how close he had been at first, blushed and took a couple of steps back. He crossed his arms over his chest, the muscles in his biceps and shoulders lightly shifting under his taut, sunkissed skin with the movement. "That's a bit of a shock."

"You've literally seen me naked, Kakashi," Kakashi blinked, taken aback by the mere mention of their hook up. Iruka hadn't talked about it all to him since it had happened, and though Kakashi almost brought it up, what the shorter man said next had him a little more concerned. "This is the least of my concerns about you right now."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" The Jonin gave an overexaggerated pout- not that Iruka could see it due to his mask- watching as the younger man sighed.

"My book?" Iruka asked, turning around and walking out of the room. Kakashi followed him into the living room, and then to the kitchen, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Oh, right, your porn," Iruka's eyes widened, and he pulled back from Kakashi's touch, leaning against the kitchen counter and keeping his arms crossed as he shot the older man an embarrassed glare. "I bought the fourth book this morning," Kakashi started, welcoming himself to sit on the counter next to where Iruka was, his thigh brushing against the brunette's shoulder as he pulled out the fourth book from one of his many pockets. "It's good so far, but who knew that innocent little Iruka was so freaky?"

"And to think I assumed that you'd spare me from your embarrassment if I published the new book for you..." Iruka mumbled, hiding his face in his hands for a moment as Kakashi flipped open to the page he was currently on.

"Ah, I'm afraid that you're not exactly exonerated from my teasing just because you published a new book, Sensei."

"Can't say I mind it too much," Iruka removed his hands back from his face, pushing them both into the pockets of his sweatpants. Kakashi took the opportunity to stare, admiring the way Iruka's chocolate-hued locks fell around Iruka's freckle-kissed shoulders. The silver-haired man actually found himself counting the freckles, only just now realizing how they looked like little constellations, each of which had the occasional scar interrupting its flow. He couldn't help but think that the younger man was like some sort of vintage art piece; marked and somewhat worn, but that was part of his appeal, as every little thing that made him different was also what made him so beautiful. "At least you're not running around telling everyone- I know some people who would."

"You mean most of our friends, no?" Kakashi laughed, staring down at the book in his hands. The first three had different background images on the covers as well- the first with stars and constellations, the second with a sunset, the third with mountains and a stream, and now the fourth with a huge flower garden. "Hm... I like the cover you chose for this one, but that reminds me. A week or two ago, I got home to find a lovely bouquet of blue cosmos at my doorstep. My favorite, actually, but I didn't have a very clear idea of who they were from."  
Though Kakashi had more confidence than he did before in the thought that Iruka liked him back, he'd been sure about a lot of things before, only to be proven wrong. Plus, if Iruka wanted his feelings to be known, he'd say something, right? Yeah. He was just going to keep hinting at things and hoping that eventually, Iruka would pick up on it.

"Didn't as in past pretense?" Iruka's posture suddenly straightened, his face turning into one of worry. "Did you figure out who sent them?"

"Oh, no, I'm still not for absolute sure, but I tried to have Pakkun track it back to the source and he said that he could pick up your scent on those flowers," Kakashi smirked under his mask as Iruka's face burned bright red. "Then again, I'm sure you wouldn't just skirt around me to leave flowers at my doorstep," He joked, wondering how oblivious he could make himself sound without it coming off as fake as he ran a hand through his messy hair. "So you were probably at the shop and happened to touch them or something, right?"

"Haha..." Though Iruka didn't directly confirm it, he didn't deny it either, only letting out a nervous chuckle as he joined Kakashi on the counter, sitting right next to the older man. Their thighs brushed together, and Kakashi wondered if the touch was on purpose from Iruka's end, but he didn't dare mention it as the brunette pointed at the fourth book of Verbatim that the Jonin was holding. "You're funny, Kakashi! Anyways, what do you think about the new book?"

"It's my favorite so far," He was only halfway through the book since he'd just bought it, but he knew that it would be the last in the series based on both its content and the author's note in the beginning. "Anyone reading can tell that you get more and more confident with your writing skills as the series progresses. In fact, as nice as it is to finally have an ending after being emotionally invested in it for so long, I'll be sad that it's over."

"You could always reread. I mean, you did that with Icha Icha, right?" Iruka asked, using a hand to push his hair back and away from his face. The last bits of sunlight that peeked in through the window made the specks of gold and light brown in the brunette's eyes stand out, causing Kakashi to smile and blush under his mask as he took the time to admire the younger man.

"Yeah, but rereading a book doesn't give you the same gratification as the first read does."

"Maybe I'll have to write a new book just for you, then." Kakashi raised his eyebrows at that, both flattered and confused. Due to the manner in which the main characters in Verbatim were written, and due to Iruka's possible interest in him, he had suspected that the two main characters were based on the both of them.

"I can't tell if you're kidding or not, but if you're not, I'd like that. You're quite skilled, really."

"Thank you, and I wouldn't mind it," Iruka grinned, giving the book that Kakashi was holding a fond stare before looking up at the silver-haired man himself with that exact same look. "Maybe you could even help me with this one?"

That probably wasn't meant in a suggestive way, but the images that went through Kakashi's head at that statement had him mentally apologizing to whatever God that may or may not have existed for his sins. Regardless, he maintained his composure.

"I'd like that, too. Just let me know when."

"Yeah," Iruka nodded, and Kakashi looked at the clock on Iruka's kitchen wall, having to suppress a sigh when he realized that he was supposed to have met up with Sakura in the Hokage's office a good half hour ago to help her with using Genjutsu. "I will."

"I've gotta get going," He explained, standing up. "Sakura wanted to meet with me about something to do with her training."

"Oh," Iruka's face lit up at the mention of his old student as he stood up from the counter as well to see Kakashi off. "Tell her I said hello!"

"I will. See you later, Sensei."


	16. Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi Hatake is painfully in love and relishing in the fact that he and Iruka Umino are becoming more comfortable with each other. However, he's surprised when they hook up during what was only supposed to be a drafting and writing session for Iruka's new book.

Kakashi Hatake felt oddly content as he leaned back against his couch, Iruka Umino sitting next to him. One of his arms was loosely tossed around the brunette's shoulders as they relaxed, taking a break from what they had been doing before.

A couple of weeks had passed since they'd last hung out- if Kakashi practically barging in through the Chunin's window could be called 'hanging out'- and Iruka had wanted to meet up with him for help with a new book like they'd talked about in passing. They'd been going over Iruka's drafts for the past few hours, and Kakashi was actually quite enthused by the idea, though he couldn't help but notice one thing...

This book had a lot of smut- even more than Verbatim.

And honestly? He had questions. They'd split a bottle of sake between the two of them for both entertainment and creativity fuel, so Kakashi was feeling rather loose, relaxed- bold, even. He pulled his mask down without much thought and let out a small laugh, not really caring if Iruka saw his face. He trusted Iruka, plus, the brunette had seen it before. Regardless, Iruka looked somewhat shocked at the sight, looking up at him with wonder in his soft, brown eyes.

"So, Iruka..."

"Hm?" Iruka hummed, face bright red due to the alcohol he'd consumed. He was wearing less than usual, only a shirt and shorts, his forehead protector (which he often used to keep flyaway hairs out of his face, Kakashi had learned) still tied around his head. Kakashi had dressed rather casually too, in a long-sleeve with sweats, his forehead protector also still on and his mask hanging around his neck while his shoes- which he'd taken off earlier, sitting at the door next to Iruka's. Domestic, he thought, the softer part of him allowing a brief fantasy of every night being like this before he continued what he'd been saying before.

"Are you really into all that stuff you write about?"

"What do you mean?" The brunette tilted his head, clearly confused as to what Kakashi was getting at.

"Like, the kinks that are used in there."

"Oh! Um..."

"Would you wanna tie me up?" He chuckled, kidding for the most part, but somewhat curious as to what Iruka's response would be.

To his surprise, the brunette's eyes were blown wide at that. He leaned in, giving an enthusiastic nod and sounding rather breathless as he answered. 

"Yeah."

"Wait, really?" Kakashi blinked. If he was being honest, he was rather taken aback by Iruka's bluntness- then again, the Chunin had been drinking too, so maybe the sake was acting as liquid courage.

"I mean, if you want to..." An expression that appeared to be a cross between horror and realization took over Iruka's face, and the brunette buried his face in his hands in embarrassment, barely peeking at Kakashi from in between his fingers. "Wait, were you really just kidding? Oh, God-"

"Well, I was only half-kidding," Kakashi started, reaching up to pry Iruka's hands from his face before letting them go and resting a hand on the shorter man's upper thigh. "Really, I was trying to gauge a reaction, but I'm down. You're more than free to do whatever you want to me."

Suddenly, Iruka was standing and grabbing Kakashi by the hands, pulling him up and across the house. The brunette pushed their lips together, one hand on the back of Kakashi's neck and the still holding one of his, interlacing their fingers as they slowly made their way through the house.

"Can I top you?" Iruka asked as they tumbled into the bedroom, shutting the door behind them. Kakashi wasn't sure when the younger man's hair tie had come out, but it apparently had, allowing the Chunin's hair to fall around his shoulders and collarbones in loose, long waves.

"What'd I just say?" Kakashi indirectly reiterated his previous statement of 'you're free to do whatever you want to me,' surprised when it actually seemed to make Iruka momentarily throw caution to the wind.

"Fuck," With that, Iruka's lips were on his, and the brunette's hands were lacing through his hair before they were suddenly pulling back to take his shirt off and threw it on the ground, Kakashi doing the same. The silver-haired man took his forehead protector off and tossed it onto his bed.

"It's funny to hear you curse, you know." Kakashi gasped as he was pushed up against the wall, his cheek softly colliding with the cold material. Iruka's front was pressing into his back, holding him there in a rather satisfying way, so the Jonin didn't dare move as he looked back to see the brunette untying his forehead protector. "I've been hearing it a lot more recently."

"I mean, it's kinda hard to help it when the Kakashi Hatake just casually offers to let you..." He trailed off, taking both of Kakashi's wrists into one hand and using the other to tie them together with the cloth of his headband. When Iruka was finally done knotting, Kakashi fidgeted against the bonds, able to feel the imprint of the Leaf Village's symbol on the skin of his inner wrist as his body heat began to lessen the material's shockingly cold temperature. "Well, you know what I'm saying. Is this too tight?"

"No, it's perfect."

"You're perfect," Iruka praised, the compliment sending heat in the form of flashes down the length of Kakashi's body. The brunette's hands landed on his hips, rough fingers dancing across the pale skin. "You don't know what you do to me, Kakashi." It was sensual and low in tone, whispered in Kakashi's ear. The silver-haired man wanted nothing more than to reach out and weave his fingers in Iruka's silky brown locks, but the fact that he was restrained and pressed up against the wall, only able to sit there with his wrists bound by the forehead protector and his fingers itching with the need to move, somehow made it all the more thrilling. Breaking the moment, Iruka suddenly pulled back a bit, voice going back to normal. "Oh! Um, should we have a safeword?"

"I probably won't need it," Kakashi mused, knowing that he could handle a lot. Then again, Iruka being Iruka probably just wanted to be safe; cautious, and Kakashi didn't want to make him worry. "But if I must... How about cosmos? Like those flowers you left at my doorstep?" Kakashi teased, arching his back and leaning into the touch when Iruka's lips brushed against his back yet again. Upon registering Kakashi's words, Iruka gently grabbed Kakashi's face, moving his head to the side so he could kiss him from behind.

Of course, the silver-haired man could only melt into it, pushing his hips back against the Chunin's, having absolutely no idea of the wild night he had signed himself up for.


	17. Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iruka Umino is warm and content when he wakes up in bed with Kakashi Hatake, the man he's in love with. Though he's unsure of exactly what they are, he's at least appreciative of the fact that he actually remembers everything from their little rendevous this time around.

Iruka Umino let out a soft groan as his eyes fluttered open, the nice dream that he'd been having briefly escaping him. He realized that he was in Kakashi Hatake's bed rather quickly, but didn't panic like he had last time, as he remembered everything that happened. He'd had some sake the night before, sure, but it wasn't enough to annihilate his memory- just enough to slightly cloud his judgment. Logically, he knew that jumping into bed with Kakashi yet again wasn't the best decision he'd ever made- especially when the option of talking about his feelings like a rational human being was very much present- but alas, his emotions and desires had managed to get the best of him.

He was a bit disoriented, but content nonetheless. He remembered the writing that him and Kakashi had been working on together the night before and sighed, knowing that he'd have to finish those drafts soon, as well as grade some papers that were still at his apartment.

He wasn't sure whether or not Kakashi was awake.

"Hey, Kakashi..." Iruka mumbled, turning over to face the older man. Kakashi's back had been facing him, but the Jonin quickly turned to face him as well. "I don't have work today, right?"

This time, he was sure to make sure that he didn't have any prior commitments that day so he wouldn't have to panic and rush out of the house like he had last time upon realizing that he'd had work that day.

Kakashi's laugh was bright and soft, a low sound that Iruka tried to memorize as he felt a pair of strong arms wrap around his waist. "It's Saturday, Iruka."

"Awesome." Iruka's let out a sigh of relief as Kakashi's hands began to soothingly move up and down his lower back. The brunette allowed his eyes to fall shut as he leaned into the touch, able to feel the Jonin's blunt nails lightly brushing against his warm skin. It briefly reminded him of something his mother would do when he was young- when he'd have nightmares, she'd come into his room and hold him, gently run her hand over his back until he fell asleep, and sit with him for the rest of the night. There had been a time when thinking back on it would make him cry, but now, he could only smile at the fond memory.

"Sleeping well there?" Kakashi's voice snapped him out of his flashback, and he opened his eyes again before moving closer to the older man's warmth.

"Yeah... I was, anyways. You mind?"

"Not at all," Kakashi answered, pulling his arms back from Iruka's face and crossing them behind his head, staring up at the ceiling. He looked comfortable, sure, but it was only then that Iruka noticed just how much damage he'd done on the older man the night before. Kakashi had red marks on his wrist in the shape of the cloth from the forehead protector that had kept them tied together, hickeys all over his neck and chest, a couple of bitemarks... "In fact, I think I'll join you."

"Did I hurt your wrists last night?" At Iruka's question, Kakashi sat up, looking down at his wrists. It was clear that he himself was only just now realizing the minor effects from their little liaison. "Or you in general? You look pretty bruised up."

"A bit, but I don't mind it-" Iruka was about to object and apologize, but before he could, Kakashi was moving. The silver-haired man laid on his stomach between Iruka's legs, resting his cheek against the brunette's midsection and wrapping his arms around his waist again. "I liked it. Stop worrying so much."

"Oh," Iruka didn't know what else to say as he stared down at Kakashi, who had allowed his eyes to fall shut again. "You're comfy."

"You are, too," Kakashi mumbled. Iruka laid back, head on the pillow as they stayed like that- him staring up at the ceiling and Kakashi staring up at him as he gently ran a hand through the older man's hair, admiring the soft, fluffy texture it had. "What are your plans today?"

"I don't know yet since I don't have work. What about you?"

"Well, this is just a thought, but..." The Jonin trailed off, and Iruka took the opportunity to stare at him a bit as he moved up. Now, Kakashi's chin was resting on his chest, upper body splayed out across the brunette's midsection. He found the weight to be calm and comforting, but now that he was sobered up after the night before, he took in the sight of Kakashi's face, and he still wasn't used to it, though he wanted to get used to it. Really, he wished that he could see that smile every day, and that thought made him realize just how domestic this little scene was; both of them with a day off of work, cuddling after waking up in the morning and talking like lovers. "We could make a weekend out of this. You're free to stay for another day or two- Only if you'd like, y'know, but..."

Iruka mulled over it for a moment, knowing that he really shouldn't. 'a weekend out of this' probably meant more sex, writing, and alcohol without any clear communication, but Iruka found that he couldn't quite resist the idea. Even if they didn't get to talk and make everything clear like he would've wanted, he was happy just being held in Kakashi's arms like this.

"I'd like that," Iruka grinned, the thought that Kakashi was actually interested in spending time with him outside of their sexual encounters making him happy. He was still tired nonetheless, and quickly felt himself nodding off as the feeling of Kakashi cuddling up to him made his body become warm and fuzzy. "Wanna go back to sleep? I can probably make breakfast when we get up."

To his delight, the Jonin snuggled up closer to him, dark eyes filled with nothing but gaiety.

"That sounds nice. Help yourself to whatever you want, sunshine."


	18. Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iruka Umino goes home with Kakashi Hatake yet again after another night at the local bar with their mutual friends. In a rare display of vulnerability, Kakashi actually shares a heartfelt conversation with him about his nightmares, and in an equally rare display of bravery, Iruka actually confesses his love.

Iruka Umino felt himself fidget in his seat as he lingered in the bar despite feeling incredibly awkward, all of his friends having conversations of their own. There were enough people at this particular gathering for them to sit at the bar instead of trying to cram themselves in a booth, so he was at least glad to have his personal space, though he didn't dare occupy himself by slamming drinks like he had the last time they sat at the bar, which ended up in a one night stand with no other than Kakashi Hatake that he had struggled to remember the morning after. 

Speaking of the Jonin, Kakashi was sitting in the barstool to his right, while all of his other friends- Anko, Shizune, Genma, Ibiki, Guy, Kurenai, Asuma- were lined up in the barstools to his left. There was a brief moment of silence in whatever conversation each of them were having, and Iruka was surprised to hear his anonymous pen name spoken by his longtime crush.

"You know, I heard that Risso will be publishing another book soon."

"What?" Kurenai, who was on the opposite end of the bar as Kakashi, perked up and tried to look over everyone else there to see him. Iruka, on the other hand, was too worried about what Kakashi was going to say next to really pay attention to her. Kakashi wouldn't expose him, would he? "Where'd you hear that?"

"Well, I know you guys won't believe me, but I actually know who they are."

No- Kakashi was a man of his word, and he said that he'd keep Iruka's secret. The brunette allowed his eyes to fall shut as he took in a deep breath and then exhaled, trying to block out all of the noise around him so he could calm himself down.

"What!? Who is it, my eternal rival?" Guy asked enthusiastically, slamming his hands down on the wooden bar top hard enough for it to nearly break from the pure force.

"Ah, can't tell, it's a secret," Kakashi chuckled as all of their friends groaned in unison at his tease, placing a finger over his mask-covered lips and glancing over at Iruka- just long enough for the brunette to notice it, as he'd been looking for it, but not long enough for anyone else to pick up on the subtle and somewhat flirtatious gesture. "But look forward to the new book soon."

Everyone else aside from him and Kakashi, obnoxious and feeding off of each other's chaotic energy as well as on the way to getting absolutely hammered (as well as Shizune, who seemed like she'd be stuck getting every drunk person home safely), uproared, their voices drowning out just about everything else in the bar.

"That was mean," Iruka took the opportunity to turn to Kakashi without anyone noticing, shooting him a glare. "You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"Iruka." Seemingly unbothered, Kakashi leaned a little closer, eyebrows raised.

"Hm?"

"Come home with me?" Iruka blinked at the question. Neither him nor Kakashi had really had any alcohol yet, so the silver-haired man offering that up had the brunette taken aback just a little bit. "To stay the night, I mean, not just sex. You know I enjoy your company, so... Yeah." If Iruka hadn't known better, he would've thought that he saw a heavy blush peeking up from underneath Kakashi's mask, but he figured it was just the lighting of the bar and brushed it off. "Last time you stayed, you left your clothes, so I went ahead and washed them for you. You have a clean outfit for work tomorrow, and I'll make you breakfast in the morning."

"I'm down, but do we just..." Iruka stopped, looking over at their friends, who were still clearly distracted. The last time he and Kakashi had done this, he'd slipped out of the building and waited for Kakashi so they wouldn't leave at the exact same time and catch the attention of everyone they knew. "Leave together?"

"Why not?" Kakashi shrugged, which had Iruka furrowing his eyebrows together in confusion. Another more trivial fear of his in regards to the potential of him and Kakashi having a relationship is that the older man would be a bit embarrassed to be seen with him. He knew it was somewhat ridiculous since Kakashi had no shame anyway, but it was hard to get rid of his deeprooted insecurities. "I don't really care if they say anything, to be honest."

"You mean you really aren't embarrassed by me?" He let it slip without really meaning to, immediately regretting it when Kakashi gave him a look that was some cross between utter bewilderment and disbelief.

"Why would I be? You're kidding, right?" With that, Kakashi scoffed, stood up, and grabbed Iruka by the hand, pulling him up as well. "C'mon."

"Oh, okay!" Iruka gave a nervous laugh, which seemed to catch the attention of his best friend, Anko Mitarashi. The older woman was already clearly wasted, Shizune by her side and trying to quiet her down to no avail as she moved to stand up and yell.

"Go get you some, Iruka! I knew the gift thing would work!"

"Shizune, please make sure she gets home safe." Iruka sighed as he felt all of their friends staring at him, but Kakashi's fingers intertwining with his quelled his anxieties for the moment.

"Will do."

They quickly left the bar, and Iruka found himself thinking as they began to walk together on the cool streets of Konoha. Whatever their relationship was, he didn't necessarily mind it- he liked it- loved it, even- but he had plenty of questions, and he was somewhat sick of waiting around for answers.

He wanted to say something.

Of course, before he could start, Kakashi spoke up.

"...So, what does she mean by 'the gift thing'?"

"She was the one who suggested that I should buy you flowers, hence the blue cosmos," Iruka admitted, looking off to the side. He knew there was really no point in skirting around that subject at this point.

"Oh, so those were from you!" Kakashi exclaimed, slapping the hand that wasn't holding Iruka's over his face as if he were shocked.

"Don't act like you didn't already know they were from me, you tease..." Iruka huffed as they got to the apartment, climbing up the stairs. Kakashi let go of his hand so he could grab his keys and unlock the door, walking inside with Iruka following behind him.

"They were beautiful, so thank you," Kakashi spoke, shutting the door behind them and continuing to walk. Iruka felt his face burn red. "Really."

"You're welcome," Iruka grinned, deciding that he should go ahead and ask the question just to make sure. He watched as the Jonin took off his forehead protector and mask, setting both of them on the living room couch. "Mind if I sleep in your bed?"

"Do I mind if you sleep in my bed? Really?" Kakashi rolled his eyes, kicking his shoes off and stripping himself of his vest before walking to his bedroom and flicking the light on, Iruka still following. "No, I just invited you over to have you sleep on the couch- no, the kitchen table, actually."

"Haha, real funny, Kakashi!" Iruka felt like the question was genuinely stupid when Kakashi shot him a look of disbelief, so he shook his head as Kakashi sat on the bed and began to get comfortable as well. He did what Kakashi had done moments before and slowly began to strip himself of his outer layers until he was down to his boxers, climbing into the bed and slipping under the covers as he took his hair out of his signature ponytail.

"I sleep really good when you're around for whatever reason, so you're always welcome here."

"Oh, same here, actually," Iruka paused, laying back and resting his head on the pillow. All of the nights he'd slept next to Kakashi, he'd been freed from the nightmares that he was usually plagued with, and he wondered if the same had happened with Kakashi. "Is it a no-nightmares thing?"

"Yeah..." Kakashi answered, turning to lay down and face Iruka with curiosity in his dark eyes. "So, you too?"

"Yeah."

"Can I ask what yours are about?"

"Some of them are about my parents," Iruka answered without much thought, feeling his throat tighten. He hadn't really meant for the subject matter to change to something so dark, but he couldn't really bring himself to change it. "In more recent years, about Naruto, and..." And Kakashi himself, he thought, but he didn't dare say that out loud. "Other people that I care about. It's always something gory or to do with the fox attack... Or both. No matter what, it seems to surround my failure to protect them."

"I see. I think that's a common fear- failing to protect the people who are close to you, and it can be pretty scary. Survivor's guilt is really not preferred."

"That's true, but..." Both curious about Kakashi and wanting to move the focus off of himself, he decided to ask about the older man. "What are yours about?"

"You were pretty young when it happened, but I'm sure you've heard the rumors about my father," Iruka winced at the mention of it, as he'd heard plenty of rumors. From his understanding, Kakashi's father had killed himself when Kakashi was a child due to the extreme backlash he'd received for failing a mission in exchange for saving his teammates' lives, which was apparently the wrong decision- something that Iruka had never been able to wrap his head around. "I was the one who found his body, so rarely, I'll have dreams about that, and other times, about people I know who have died aside from him- friends, enemies, the works. Every once in a while, I'll have nightmares about the whole Friend-Killer Kakashi thing," Iruka winced at that, too. He'd heard plenty of people use that term while talking about Kakashi behind his back (which he would always scold them for, as he thought it was cruel and downright horrible), but he hadn't ever heard the Jonin talk about it in detail. "Yeah, I know about that. Anko called me it to my face once when I found out that she was planning one of her escapades to go after Orochimaru on her own and informed the Hokage, and I knew about it even before that. The Anbu seem really silent in nature, but they actually talk a lot when it comes to gossip and I managed to pick up on most of it."

"Ah, that's fair..." Iruka sighed, frowning at the thought of his best friend actually calling Kakashi that. Then again, Anko took everything to do with Orochimaru seriously, and after everything that Orochimaru had done to her, Iruka could understand that. "Sorry Anko did that, by the way. She probably didn't mean it, but you know how she gets when it comes to him-"

"Orochimaru, yes," Kakashi cut him off, eyes falling shut. It was weird how passive he was about these things, Iruka thought- with how harshly the silver-haired man had treated Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke when they were still with him as young teens, it was hard to believe that he'd sympathize with most people- especially with someone whose situation was as complicated as Anko's- but here he was. "I understand. I've said my fair share of unsavory things due to anger, so I'm not really upset with her over it."

"You know, for someone who acts like you do towards your students, you're actually pretty understanding."

"I could say the same for you."

It was an oddly soft moment; Kakashi's hand reaching out to hold his, thumb gently stroking the inside of the brunette's palm, and Iruka found himself wanting to tell the Jonin every single good thing he'd ever thought about him- every single fantasy, every single dream, every single loving glance that Iruka had ever shot his way.

Still, being as nervous as he was, he could only bring himself to mutter two words, none of which had to do with those thoughts.

"Fair point."

"You look sleepy," Kakashi let go of his hand, sitting up. "Want me to hit the lights?"

"Yeah."

With that, Kakashi stood up, walking across the room and turning the bedroom light off before getting back into the bed. Iruka bit his lip, his heart ready to beat out of his chest as Kakashi laid on his back next to him- so close, but still so far away. 

"Good night, Iruka."

'Okay, I'm gonna do it,' he thought, surging with determination. 'I'll just slip it in with my goodnight- act casual like he does and it'll turn out perfectly fine! He's been flirting and making moves this entire time, so all I need to do is make my feelings clear and things should turn out- I mean, he reacted well to the flowers, right? Anko was right, all I need to do is just come out with it-'

"Good night, Kakashi, I-" Iruka started, but right as he was about to confess, he realized that Kakashi had fallen asleep, which he could tell from the soft snores that came from the silver-haired man. "Oh, you're already asleep..." With a light chuckle, Iruka leaned over, pressing a kiss against the top of the older man's head. "Good night, sweet dreams. Love you."


	19. Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi Hatake is aware that Iruka Umino had assumed he was asleep when he'd said "I love you" that night, but he still can't get it off his mind. Both relieved that Iruka loves him back and worried of everything that could go wrong, he's overflooded with emotion. However, he comes to realize that, when Iruka was around, he could deal with just about anything- even his own feelings.

Kakashi Hatake was painfully bored as he sat on his couch, staring up at the ceiling. He'd completed a couple of quick missions that day and didn't really have anything to do, so he was just lingering around his house, waiting for the feeling of exhaustion to consume him, which it inevitably would. 

His apartment was lonely. The little couch in the living room was cold and despite the warm lighting in the room, he felt like he was freezing. His apartment was small- super small- with a tiny bathroom, bedroom, living room, and kitchen that was about a third of the size of a normal house, and he didn't mind that in itself, but when he was all alone? That just made it all the more depressing. It was a reminder of all of the people he'd lost, all the people that could be there with him if he'd done something different- his father, Obito, Rin, Minato-Sensei, even Sasuke, who he'd failed to keep on the right path.

He missed his old friends- he missed his old family. As obnoxious as Naruto was, he wondered how the blonde boy was doing, and that had him thinking about Iruka yet again, which made him groan.

A few days ago, after a night with their friends at the local bar, Kakashi had invited the brunette to stay the night, and he had. They'd slept in the same bed after a somewhat dark discussion about their nightmares, and things had been relatively peaceful- well, except for the one thing that had kept Kakashi up for the entirety of that night.

"Good night, sweet dreams. Love you."

He'd been waiting for Iruka to respond to his 'good night' for so long that he'd faked snoring in an attempt at being humorous about it, but apparently, Iruka had thought that he was asleep and dared to drop the 'L' word.

Kakashi, who hadn't known how he was supposed to respond, pretended to be asleep for the entirety of the night and acted like everything was normal when Iruka had to go to work in the morning.

After Iruka had left, he'd had what he could only identify as a panic attack.

Most of the time, when it came to whatever their relationship was, he was rather casual and optimistic. He was fine if Iruka didn't feel the same way- after all, almost everyone who loved him had died, so maybe it was for the best. Them dancing around each other was growing tedious, sure, but he would relish in any contact he could get with Iruka Umino.   
Other times, when it came to whatever their relationship was, he was rather worried and depressed. He didn't know where things were going to go and the uncertainty scared the hell out of him. Their lives as Shinobi were so dangerous despite the fact that Iruka was only a Chunin, and they never knew what could happen to either of them. Now that he actually had concrete evidence of Iruka loving him back, he didn't know what to do with it. What if Iruka ended up dying? Or, much less pressing but still worrying, what if the brunette ended up leaving him? Iruka was so... Well, he wasn't necessarily innocent, but he didn't have the same amount of blood on his hands that Kakashi did. In comparison to the Jonin, Iruka was a ray of sunshine.

With all of that in consideration, that raised the question...

Should Kakashi have said it back? Now that the moment was over, should he go ahead and say it unprompted? If so, when? How?

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a knock on his apartment door. He'd had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, but upon hearing the knock, he took it off and draped it over the back of the couch so he could stand up to go answer the door. Of course, as he could easily sense Iruka's chakra, he knew who it was and didn't bother with grabbing his mask to put back on.

"Iruka, hello," He greeted the brunette as he opened the door, allowing him to step inside before shutting it behind him. Iruka slipped his shoes off and set them near the wall in the entryway and looked up at Kakashi with a small smile. "What brings you by?"

"I've brought you something," Iruka started, and that's when Kakashi noticed the paper booklet in his hands.

"...The new book?" Kakashi asked, gently taking it and walking back to the living room as he flipped it open. Iruka followed, both of them sitting down on the couch.

"You said you wanted to be my beta reader," Iruka reminded him, grabbing the blanket off of the couch and pulling it over both of their backs, resting his head on the older man's shoulder.

"Oh, fair point," Kakashi raised his eyebrows, a bit confused at how Iruka had already written so much. "You've already got it written? It's only been a few weeks since you started drafting it."

"I don't have the whole thing done, just a few chapters, but I do write pretty fast. Also, I stayed up all night." His dark brown eyes fell shut as he settled against Kakashi's shoulder, linking an arm with one of his and snuggling closer.

"That explains why you look so tired."

"Wow, don't flatter me or anything, Kakashi."

"I didn't say you looked bad, just tired," Kakashi sighed, resting the notebook in his lap. He figured that he could worry about the I love you conflict later. "Long day?"

"Yeah, I stayed up all night and the kids were particularly chaotic today. Don't get me wrong, I love them all to death, but my ideal day in class isn't having to put Konohamaru's scarf out and start sewing him a new one because Hanabi accidentally set it aflame with a fireball Jutsu she used on him while sparring."

Ah, Hanabi Hyuga. Though Kakashi hadn't interacted with her much, she was apparently considerably bolder and a bit of a spitfire compared to her older sister. She was seen as the strongest in her family by her father, and many people thought that she was going to end up surpassing even the likes of Neji. If Konohamaru had made her of all people mad about something, he was probably not in the best position.

"They're allowed to use those on each other while sparring?"

"No, they're not supposed to use elemental Jutsus on each other," Iruka sighed. "But Konohamaru made her really mad that day and I made the mistake of pairing them up to spar. She'd signed it so fast that I could barely even stop it from killing the poor kid."

"He's really gotta get rid of that scarf," Kakashi thought about how many times he'd seen Konohamaru trip over the end of it while running around the village with his friends. He always wore it- even when it was hot. "It seems inconvenient to be fighting in it, especially when it drags on the ground like that."

"Yeah, that's true, but I think it holds some sort of sentimental value for him, so I haven't brought it up." That was a fair point. Konohamaru's parents were in the Anbu, The 3rd Hokage was dead, Naruto was absent, and all the poor boy had left at the moment was Asuma, so it made sense for him to place a lot of value on certain things that had been from the people who were no longer around. It was common knowledge that Hiruzen Sarutobi had bought a majority of the boy's wardrobe and raised him most of the time due to his parents' spots in the Anbu, so that scarf had probably been a gift from him.

"Do you know how many books there are gonna be for this one? Or what the title is?" Kakashi asked, looking at the front page, only to find that there wasn't a title- only Iruka's penname, Risso. He decided to change the subject before Iruka dwelled on Konohamaru and The 3rd for too long and became secondhand depressed, which was something that happened over his students depressingly often.

"Hm... I'd respond with an actual answer, but I'm too sleepy right now to actually form coherent thoughts."

Kakashi laughed at that, briefly reaching over to bring the Chunin a little closer.

"I could get used to this," Kakashi mumbled, looking over at Iruka in wait of a response, only to see that the brunette was asleep. His head still on Kakashi's shoulder, the brunette had cuddled up to the older man's arm, soft breaths leaving from in between his velvety lips. "Yeah..." He sighed, grabbing the blanket that was on the bed and pulling it over both of them. "I could definitely get used to this."


	20. Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still conflicted about everything surrounding Iruka Umino, Kakashi Hatake decides to gauge the opinions of Asuma Sarutobi and Might Guy on the matter. Shockingly, they're both decently level-headed when it comes to romance.

Kakashi Hatake felt a bit trapped as he crossed his arms, Asuma Sarutobi on one side of him and Might Guy on the other. He'd been on a walk to clear his head after the events from the night before when both men had approached him, Guy practically insisting on both of them joining. Kakashi had allowed it, not necessarily minding their company and not in the mood to argue.

Well, actually... On a normal day, he wouldn't mind their company, but they were both currently staring at him with concern in their eyes and it had him both annoyed and uncomfortable.

"Kakashi, you look conflicted," Asuma spoke first, placing a hand on Kakashi's shoulder. Tired and irritable from not having slept last night, he jerked back from the touch but continued walking. Asuma only frowned and kept his pace, Guy doing the same. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," He answered, letting out a sharp breath from his nose, which was covered by his mask.

"Is it something to do with Iruka again, my dear rival?" Guy piped up, and Kakashi felt his posture straighten a bit as he shot the taijutsu expert a small glare. He hadn't talked about the Iruka situation with Asuma at all, not wanting the word to spread. 

Though Guy could usually keep his mouth shut when it was important despite what he'd just said, most of their friends couldn't. It wasn't that they intentionally gossipped, but they always went and told the wrong person. If Asuma or Kurenai knew about something, they'd tell each other, and then Asuma would mention it to Kakashi, or Guy, who would go and tell Lee, who would tell his teammates, and then it'd spread to the Hyugas, which would respond in Konohamaru hearing it from Hanabi and Hinata's teammates hearing it from her, and then it'd inevitably go to Asuma's team from them and to all of their parents, and eventually, the whole village would know.  
An unintentional gossip chain, truly.

"Iruka?" Asuma questioned, glancing up at the sky, and then back at Kakashi. "Oh, that's right, you two have left the bar together a few times over the past year," Suddenly, Kakashi regretted having grabbed Iruka's hand so boldly and walking with him out of the bar like that the last time they'd all had a get-together, but he figured that there was no going back and changing it now. "I never looked into it that much, but it's clear that you two have a thing for each other. Are you guys dating?"

"You and Kurenai also clearly have a thing for each other but won't admit that you're actually dating, right?" Kakashi teased, trying to take the attention off of himself and put it on Asuma instead, as his and Kurenai's not-really-a-relationship-but-actually-totally-secretly-a-relationship was a rather popular conversation subject at the moment. 

"W-Woah, I know you're upset right now, but I was asking about you, not me!" Asuma sputtered, face bright red. Kakashi grinned under his mask at the sight as the tan ravenette threw his hands up and tried to verbally back himself. "No need to get defensive."

"Yeah, Kakashi, there's no need to attack the secret relationship that everyone already knows exists!" Unfortunately, Kakashi's attempt at taking the spotlight off of himself had failed, and Guy quickly steered the conversation back to him and Iruka. "What about you and Iruka?"

"God..." Kakashi groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose between his thumb and pointer finger.

"Maybe we shouldn't pry too much," Asuma relented, but Kakashi gave him a dismissive wave. He didn't really want them to put their noses in his business, but he was mature enough to acknowledge that they were just trying to be good friends. They meant well and wanted to help, and maybe they could help him figure things out.

"No, it's fine," Kakashi put his hands in the pockets of his pants, suppressing a frown at the thought of how jumbled this whole thing with him and Iruka had become. "Things are complicated, that's all. I know he likes me, I'm just not sure how to let him know that I like him back. I'm sure you've both picked up on the fact that I can't emote very well."

"Yeah, that might be the one thing that Guy's actually got on you, Kakashi," Asuma teased, earning a small laugh from the silver-haired man and a playful glare from the older ravenette.

"Hey!" Guy exclaimed, crossing his arms and feigning hurt as he looked in the opposite direction of Asuma and Kakashi, struggling not to smile at his own little joke. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Anyways, I think you should just be honest with him about everything," Asuma spoke again, and Kakashi had to try not to be cynical about it. Be honest about your feelings was the advice that almost everyone would give in a situation about this. It was quite typical, but he figured that it was used so commonly advised for a reason even though he wanted to spout some negative bullshit about it being cliche and overused. "Put it all on the table. If he likes you back, which he seems to, he should reciprocate, and you two can finally end the pining."

"That's so much harder than it sounds. How do you tell someone that you've been in love with them for a good ten years so casually?"

"A good start would be simply saying 'I love you', if you want my advice," Asuma responded, offering a sheepish smile in return.

"That would make sense..." Kakashi acquiesced, running a hand through his hair. "But still..."

"Kakashi," Guy smiled as well, placing a hand on Kakashi's shoulder, and this time, the silver-haired man didn't pull away. "For someone so lax, you're worrying a lot about this! Just calm down a bit and use the power of youth to fuel your bravery!" Kakashi and Asuma both deadpanned at the 'power of youth' narrative that Guy always used, so the ravenette quickly changed the subject. "Anyways, wanna go get some ramen, guys? It might, uh, soothe your nerves!"

The last place Kakashi wanted to go was to Ichiraku Ramen as he suddenly thought about the time he'd been there with Guy so many months earlier- the time that Iruka had been sitting there and likely eavesdropping on their conversation, but he couldn't bring himself to say no.

"Sure."


	21. Twenty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iruka Umino brings Kakashi Hatake one of the first copies of his new novel to read and kisses the silver-haired man on the way out. Both are equally smitten.

Iruka Umino grinned as he walked to Kakashi Hatake's apartment complex, looking down at the novel that he held in his hands. After a lot of work and a lot of help from both Anko and Kakashi, he was ready to publish and start selling his new book. When he'd started writing, despite all of the worries that came with it, it also came with a lot of benefits, whether it be the stress relief or the money that he got from having them sold, but the biggest thing was having Kakashi as a fan. So, of course, the Jonin was the first person that Iruka wanted to tell about it.

Finally approaching the apartment, he could feel his heart beating against his chest in anticipation. Would Kakashi like the new book? How would he react to it? Would he be as invested in it as he had been in Verbatim? Did he ever figure out that the two main characters in Verbatim were actually based off of him and Iruka? Would the new book meet all of the expectations that had been built when he'd helped Iruka draft it? Sure, he'd helped come up with a lot of the ideas, scenes, and characters that were used in this series, and he'd seemed to like the book when he'd beta read for Iruka, but he could never be too sure.

For whatever reason, he was often afraid of what Kakashi would think of the things he did, and he figured that was just another manifestation of his worst insecurities. He tried to stop it, he really did, but he often compared himself to the older man. Trying to clear his head of those thoughts, he shook his head and swallowed.

With that, he climbed up the stairs, easily making his way to Kakashi's door. 

Taking a deep breath, he clutched the book tightly in one hand before raising the other one to knock on the apartment door, the sound against the wood resonating in his ears. Recognizing that the sound would be audible to Kakashi if he were there- which Iruka assumed he was based on the small light that shone against the dark curtains covering the Jonin's window- he would definitely be able to hear it. So, he stood there for a moment, pulling his hand back from the door and pushing it into his pocket as he shifted his weight back and forth between both of his feet.

Surprisingly enough, he heard the door being unlocked only a few seconds after he'd knocked, and it was quickly opened to reveal Kakashi Hatake. The light from the inside of the Jonin's apartment flooded outside, basking the brunette in a warm glow as he scanned the older man up and down. Kakashi must've been staying in for the night, as he didn't have on shoes, and he was wearing a sleeveless shirt. His mask was still on his face as it usually was, but Iruka's focus was on the small Anbu tattoo on Kakashi's upper arm. He hadn't been able to look at it very much- Kakashi usually kept it hidden, and Iruka wondered if he even wanted it there anymore considering how dark Kakashi's time in the Anbu had probably been.

He knew that he shouldn't stare for too long and looked back up at Kakashi's face, deciding that he should probably start talking about what he'd come there for in the first place.  
"Hey, the new book's done, and it's gonna start being sold tomorrow in that bookstore you like."

"Is that so?" Kakashi asked, leaning against the doorway with crossed arms and smiling underneath his mask. The look in his eyes, which were both visible as he didn't have his headband on, was some mixture between proud and satisfied, which made Iruka's heart flutter just a bit. He had to suppress the huge grin that threatened to take over at Kakashi's next words. "I'll have to go buy a new copy first thing in the morning, then."

"No, no you won't..." Iruka laughed, clutching the book that he held in his hands, though Kakashi didn't seem to notice. Instead, the older man's eyes remained focused on Iruka, a curious expression underneath that mask of his.

"Huh? Why?"

"I brought you one. It's on me," Iruka answered, pushing the book he was holding into Kakashi's hands and smiling when the older man gave him a look of uncertainty. "You helped me a lot, so it's the least I could do." 

"Are you sure?" Kakashi questioned, seeming reluctant to take it, but nodding nonetheless and keeping it in his hold. Iruka pulled his hands back, missing the feeling of Kakashi's skin against his, but knowing that he couldn't stay for too long. It was already late, and he had things to do.

"Of course, but I've gotta go."

"Papers to grade?" It was clear that Kakashi was teasing as he pushed the book into his back pocket, but it was true that Iruka had a lot of work to do for the academy, as well as his ninja career. He had papers to grade, mission reports to fill out, lesson plans to write, training to work on, and a box of the new books to take to the local bookstore the following morning so they could be sold.

"Yeah, I..." Fidgeting a bit, Iruka took a deep breath before gathering his courage and leaning in. He raised a hand to Kakashi's face and pulled his mask down, able to see the older man's eyes flutter shut in anticipation. So, Iruka decided to close the gap, gently pressing his lips against Kakashi's. He kept his hand on Kakashi's face to caress the Jonin's cheek, relishing in the feeling of his warm hands on the soft, cold skin. The kiss was soft and tender, with Kakashi's eyes slipping around his waist to pull him in closer as their lips moved against each other. He would've loved to stay longer, but he really did have to go grade papers, and he was running out of breath, so he pulled back. "Bye, Kakashi."

To his surprise, when he pulled away, Kakashi's eyes were blown wide, a bright smile and a blush on his normally pale face. 

"B-Bye, Iruka..."


	22. Twenty-Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iruka Umino has no filter, and that little problem becomes particularly bad when he's around Kakashi Hatake. As luck would have it, though, Kakashi is receptive to it, and his lack of filter comes up at a rather providential time.

Oddly enough, the way Iruka Umino's big secret(s) came out had ended up being relatively anti-climactic and in the form of a slip of his tongue. It had been a couple of weeks since the new book had been published, and he and Kakashi Hatake were sitting together on the brunette's bed, Iruka writing in a draft notebook that he had resting on his thighs. He was hunched over his writing on the edge of the bed, scribbling away on the lined paper with his pencil. Meanwhile, Kakashi, who had come through his window about an hour before for a surprise visit of sorts, was leaning his back against the headboard and staring at Iruka, legs crossed.

"So, you wanna try out some of that stuff from your new book, sunshine?" Kakashi, who had been reading the first book of his new series, teased. The silver-haired man closed the book, and Iruka assumed that he'd finished reading. The first installation of this was very... Explicit, to say the least, so he couldn't say that he was surprised at Kakashi's teasing of him.

"Kakashi!" Iruka scolded, turning to face the older man as he set his pencil and his notebook down on the floor next to his bed. Unsurprisingly, Kakashi slinked across the bed, moving to sit behind the brunette and wrapping his arms around his waist from behind. Despite his initial objection, he leaned back into the touch when he felt Kakashi's hands slipping up his shirt and trailing up and down his stomach, the Jonin's mask-covered lips pressed up against the back of his neck. "You're so bold. You could really stand to learn some manners, y'know."

Unsurprisingly, their relationship had been continuing as it had been for the past few months; oddly romantic displays of affection without any concrete labels or an 'I love you' from either of them, which made Iruka wish that he had the guts to say those words like he had when Kakashi was asleep (because that was just his luck for Kakashi to be passed the fuck out the one time he had managed to gather the guts to actually confess).

"You're one to talk," Kakashi mumbled, a playful edge to his voice as he took his mask off and tossed it across the room. Iruka could only assume that he'd be staying the night again for what must've been the third time this week- not that he minded. "You know, you're usually so stern, Sensei, but you let me get away with a lot."

'That's because I love you,' he thought but didn't say it.

Oh no, he didn't say it like that. Instead, he just put it into much worse, much more embarrassing words without even thinking about it- like an idiot. "I mean, I love you enough to write two different book series for you, so I'd hope you know that you can get away with quite a lot when you're around me in comparison to everyone else." As soon as the words left his mouth, he immediately realized his fuck up and groaned upon feeling Kakashi freeze completely.

"Huh?" The silver-haired man asked, pulling his arms away and scooting back a bit.

"Oh shit, I just said that, didn't I?" Iruka turned around to face him, worried about what the reply would be, but Kakashi only gave him an uncharacteristically sheepish smile.

"You did. I was kinda hoping that was the case, so now that I actually have a bit of confirmation on that," Kakashi mumbled, the smile on his face turning sly as he placed a hand on Iruka's thigh and leaned in with a suggestive raise of his eyebrows. "Mind if I kiss you as a thanks?"

Ten years of pining, numerous awkward interactions, an eventual building of a friendship and a confusing relationship, and two published books later, and Iruka finally felt validated in his efforts. It was hard to describe the feeling- something akin to taking a hot shower at home after a mission spent stuck outside in the cold or opening his eyes and seeing sunshine peeking in through his curtains after weeks of nothing but grey skies and heavy rain.

"Please do," He finally answered after a pause that had been a little too long, and Kakashi didn't hesitate, nor did he even bother taking things a little bit slow so he could tease Iruka like he always did. No, he just placed a hand on the back of Iruka's neck and pulled him in for the kiss he'd asked to have just a minute or two before; passionate, messy, and not perfect in technique but more than that in the feelings it sent running through the brunette's mind and body. The hand that was on Iruka's thigh brushed against one of the Chunin's fingers, and he wondered if he could spend every day like this without it being too good to be true. "Wow."

"I've been meaning to say it back since you said it to me on that one night," Iruka's stomach dropped at first when Kakashi pulled away with those words, knowing it must've meant that Kakashi had been awake when he'd confessed his feelings after all. "What was it that you said verbatim? 'Oh, you're already asleep. Good night, sweet dreams. Love you.'," Kakashi chuckled, but rather than it being mocking or playful like it usually was, Iruka could hear that it was nothing but joy in the older man's voice. He found himself grinning at the sound, chuckling as well as Kakashi's lips touched his yet again. "Or, something like that. I love you, too. I don't know how you feel about everything in terms of labels, but... Be mine?"

Of course, Iruka knew that after everything Kakashi had been through, and after all of the years of the two of them skirting around each other and making their relationship more complicated than it needed to be, that saying that must've been difficult for him. Thankfully, he'd been able to ask what Iruka had been wanting to for the past ten years or so, and the brunette was appreciative of that.

"I love you more than anything, so yeah," He said, breathless as relief flooded through him. "I'll be yours," Iruka nodded before resting his forehead against Kakashi's, reaching over to grab the older man's hand and intertwining their fingers with a calm smile. "Always."


End file.
